Sunday 12.20.09

As I was walking outside to go to breakfast with Tommy and 818 I noticed a lovely note on my door. Typed up on paper with 3 holes. I am so pissed that I got frazzled and threw it away… but it was something about my disdain and utter lack of respect for the neighborhood. I had sent my neighbors that live right next to me away for the night to a fancy hotel down the street. I even gave them some spending money at the hotel bar. (Not even a thank you… guess that is the last time I try to be so kind. Next time they can suffer through the noise) Anyways, after I kicked everyone out I guess someone must have thought they were doing me a favor and brought out a bag of trash when the party was over…. and then a bum must have dragged the stuff all over the sidewalk looking for some good shit. There were also about 50 cigarette butts out there and I did feel really bad. I mean I have only lived here for a month and I am already throwing loud parties and my guests aren’t even polite enough to dispose of their butts. It is pretty gross. We cleaned the mess up and when we went to the trash area a few feet away we saw this:

I should have grabbed these and stuck them in a jar and kept them. I mean who throws that away!? WTF? So bizarre! If you had that wouldn’t you destroy it and smash it into bits before throwing it in the trash? It seems like a very personal thing to be tossing away in the trash. Much like a credit card statement.

Anyways we ate at Cafe Chloe and drank $10 mimosas flavored with pomegranate and lavender lemon. Once we realized that we had spent enough money to buy a bottle of Dom, we headed to my favorite downtown establishment, the Tivoli! 4 pm crept up quickly and we went back home to gather the leftover desserts and head to #1 on Fifth to meet up with a bunch of people to hop on a bus and search for the best Christmas lights in SD. It turned into the 3 hour tour and we were fucking tired and over it, but it was a lot of fun.

Check out this scary moving robot called the Electric Giraffe … it’s very Burning-Man-esque but very cool. A bunch of kids were riding up top on a platform and it played cool music and hobbled around the streets.

I wanted to kidnap the baby Jesus from this lawn but I chickened out… probably better that way. Getting arrested for stealing lawn ornaments would not have been very smart. If I ever get arrested it better be for something good.

As you can see Tommy was sporting a very sexy Davy Crockett hat and is half in the bag at this point. I believe he began drinking heavily when the 11 year old would not leave his side.

And this nice old lady is about to celebrate her 100th birthday.

Do you think you will live to be 100? Do you even want to? I hope I live to be at least 80, but 100? Not so much. That is just too old. What kind of dementia will I have then if I can’t even remember what I ate for dinner yesterday? How many inches will I shrink? At that point I will be smaller than the elf I hired the other night.  Who knows though, I might just outlive all of my nieces and nephews and be full of energy. Sometimes people mistake me for being younger than I am and I often tell them that I made a deal with the devil. I tell them that he promised me that as long as I was producing porn he would make sure that I had a young looking appearance. Maybe I really did make that deal…. like I said I have a bad memory.