Friday 1.29.10

Tommy and I met Jason Curious and some other boys at Basix for a quick breakfast this morning before we hit our meeting with the PR company. I inhaled my eggs benedict since I had only eaten a handful of Pringles for dinner last night. We spent the better part of Friday planning the rest of our launch parties and booking all of the travel for the upcoming trip to New Orleans! I can’t tell you how excited I am to be going to NOLA for Mardi Gras. The gay end of Bourbon Street is not even going to know what hit it. I finished up a few hours of work stuff and then we headed to Fiesta Cantina for a quick snack. I was not about to ruin my dinner at Cut by filling up on nachos. (Although I did a number on the queso and dips)

Ok, let’s move onto the important things in life. I met Nikki Benz, Puma Swede and Diana Doll for dinner in Beverly Hills at Wolfgang Puck’s Cut steakhouse. You know how I feel about this place if you have been following me for a few weeks. The menus at the LA location are a great concept, except that the portraits of the celebrities are all fairly unflattering. I wonder who the photographer is. I could look it up, but honestly, I think the pictures are kind of awkwardly ugly.

Nikki ordered the crab cocktail (too much mayonaise for my liking. I can’t believe I even said that. I love mayo)

Filet mignon carpaccio (notice the shaved black truffles on top)

The last time I ate the bone marrow flan I was gobbling it up so fast I didn’t even eat it the way it is supposed to be eaten! Apparently you put this mushroom tapenade on the toast and then put the flan on top. I made all three of the girls try it (reluctantly) and guess what? They all loved it. So for those of you who think I am disgusting and eat weird shit… don’t knock it til you try it.

And the love of my life, my soul mate:  kobe beef sashimi. Again, all three of them tried it and loved it. So much so that I had to order another one for myself. Sheesh.

At this point, I was living in la-la land if I thought I would even put a dent in my steak. And AGAIN I fucked up and forgot to tell them to serve it to me on a cold plate. By the time it arrived it was waaaayyy overdone. I was annoyed at myself.

The most exciting part of my evening was guiding Nikki into ordering the American Wagyu beef and talking her into ordering it medium instead of medium well. She, like many many people, gets freaked out by the blood on the plate and orders their shit medium well or well done. It sends me into orbit knowing that a steak tastes SO MUCH BETTER on the rare side. If you can get past the texture and the color, you will never go back to well done. I promise you… when you are at a dinner with someone who eats their steak rare, just be brave and ask for a little taste. You will not regret it. I am trying, one steak eater at a time, to change the world.

Dessert was delicious marscapone filled donuts with strawberries and ice cream.

After our very late night dinner we went into the bar for a little bit and that is when I discovered this older woman attacking her date. Oh man, it was awesome. I had Nikki pose so I could capture them on the left side of the frame.

At this point, I am pretty sure she was onto me.

Two couples: me and Nikki are fighting and Puma and Diana are newlyweds.

Thanks girls for a fun night! Nikki drove me back to the Roosevelt where earlier I am 99.9% sure I was in the elevator with a famous rapper or hip hop artist. The Grammy’s are in town this weekend and the hotel is filled with famous musicians. Obviously none that I could identify. The cars in the valet are bright and have loud motors and hip-hop blaring out of them. Totally not my scene. Bling and baggy jeans. No thanks.

I slept in til 11:00 am. What a lazy bum.

Thursday 1.28.10

Tommy and I drove up to LA to do another promotional event for Suite 703 at a place in West Hollywood called Micky’s. It’s a meet and greet for gay porn stars to meet their fans and they were super cool about letting us give away tons of our schwag and pretty much take the place over.

Our favorite gay comedian Justin Martindale and Tommy the Tool again. I am just going to start cutting him out of the photos.

Drew Cutler and Rob Romoni

My gay porn crush Trevor Knight

Steven Daigle from Big Brother 10 who is now officially a porn star! Congrats to Chi-Chi La Rue for being the devil and talking him into doing porn.

This is a guy named Bobbie who I chatted with on Twitter for a while and we finally met. He reviews gay and straight porn… we have some business to discuss

It only goes from 6pm til 9pm so afterwards we went to the Abbey where we got a booth and bottle service. Our entourage was quite a spectacle.

Zoinks look at this dude’s body!

Oh wait, THIS is my gay porn star crush… His name is Johnny Hazzard and I legitimately get nervous around him. This is the second time I have met him. He’s so dreamy.

Me and the super famous Chi-Chi La Rue!

Alright, once in a while we get a pleasant face. Thank you Tommy.

This is apparently Michelle from Big Brother 11. I had strict instructions from my best friend Sigrid who is utterly obsessed with BB to tell her how upset she was that she had been railroaded in the show and that it was awful how mean they were to her. I have no idea what any of this means since I have never seen one minute of that show. Here ya go Sigrid!

Perez Hilton was also there but I didn’t get a photo of him. Here is Taylor Dane. Evidently after I left the DJ started playing a bunch of her songs. lol The gays love Taylor Dane! She was very nice even though she looks like she has me in a headlock.

Again, I ducked out early. Wouldn’t want to miss a chance to get laid

Tuesday 1.26.10

I met my friend Tim to go have some bison burgers and beers at Hamilton’s in South Park despite my attempt to detox until Thursday. I had shit to do at home and was really trying to get some blogging done! (HA!) but was coaxed pretty easily by the thought of a delicious bison burger. I also hadn’t seen Tim since October when he left Naughty America. It was Bison Brewery Night.

Hamilton’s is a beer and wine bar with a ton of amazing choices.

It used to be a cool dive called Sparky’s but has really turned into a quality beer place since they changed in ‘06. They have some strong ass beers! I got there about 30 seconds too late because the guy in line in front of me had the last bison burger. Fail. I ended up eating bacon wrapped hotdogs with salsa on them.

They weren’t bad but then again bacon wrapped anything tastes good….I had a bunch of yummy beers (over the course of the night I tried Lil big beer, Triple Rock Pinnacle Pale Ale,, New Belgium Mighty Arrow Pale Ale and Avery White Rascal) and was getting into deep conversations with Jarin and Tim about having sex with midgets and Siamese twins.

We were speculating on how strange it would be to date if you were a Siamese twin. Some of them are attached at the head and some are attached at the body. If you are dating one of them do you choose which one to makeout with before the night starts? Do you ignore one if you are on a date with the other? (”No Janice, I wasn’t talking to you. I am out with Janet tonight”) Or is it really considered a threeway??  I am pretty sure we freaked out Tim’s friend by our conversation. Nice kid though. Tim left and Jarin and I stayed talking about all kinds of odd stuff. I was telling him about a psychic experience I had 5 years ago and although he doesn’t believe in that stuff (as most reasonably intelligent people do not either) I think I had him convinced about what happened to me. I don’t want to get into it here and now… maybe on the next rainy day. It’s very personal and was a life changing experience. I have to get up the nerve to tell you what happened. Sorry I know that’s rude to bring it up and not tell you the full story.

Sunday 1.24.10

After a solid 12 hours of sleep the text messages starting coming in for brunch requests. UGH. Was I really about to get up and go drink again? Yup. We started at the Se where the boys had checked in AND out a total of 3 times over the course of the weekend! So funny! The regular bartender was a no show so we had this other guy who was utterly incompetent and was not even remotely remorseful about the problem at hand. He couldn’t find anything, kept saying that he only worked the  pool bar upstairs, and was either high, half asleep or just plain dumb. I ordered a drink called “Grace” which has champagne, Cointreau and is served with blueberries and raspberries. He literally could not figure out what to do. This is our conversation:

Me: I would like a “Grace”

Guy: I don’t know what is in that.

Me: Well let’s take a look at the drink menu, it will be listed.

Guy: (blank stare)

Me: (I point to the menus) There are menus right there behind the bar.

Guy: (look of confusion)

Me: (I stand up and grab the menu) Yeah, here we go… cointreau, champagne and berries.

Guy: I don’t think I can do this.

Me: Do you even work here?

Guy: (snide look with indignant snicker) Yes I work here. I just normally work upstairs at the pool bar.

Me: Well you have a full bar here so I am sure you have the Cointreau and the champagne, I can live without the berries.

Guy: I don’t think it will taste right without the berries.

Me: Well let’s try it with the 2 ingredients.

Then he proceeds to help everyone else around me and totally ignores me and DJ who wanted the same thing. Finally after literally 10 minutes of watching this tool stumble over his own feet we ended up with this “beverage” that looked like dirty dish water and tasted about the same. This is not the way to live, people.

We moved over Brian’s American Eatery and ordered a bunch of hearty breakfast food… I had the monte cristo and also picked at Jonathan’s chicken and waffles and Trevor’s corned beef hash which wasn’t corned beef hash at all… it was corned beef on a muffin. Lame. (Side note, I cannot wait to eat at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles next week when I go to LA!) We ran into the Naughty President and invited him to join us for brunch. He might have been a little overwhelmed by the crowd lol. We hung out with him while he ate and then dragged him to the Tivoli Bar. Of course I had to get cupcakes from Heavenly Cupcakes. Who, incidentally, have curbside pick up now! Call in and order and they will run them out to your car.

Hey Tommy, thanks again for making a douchey face in yet another photo.

And when the gays were completely over hanging out in a straight bar (that takes about 2 and a half minutes btw) we took cabs up to Hillcrest to do it. All. Over. Again. At this point I uninvited Mr. President and told him it might be best if he not join us. I don’t want to totally scare the shit out of him the day before he starts his presidency at Naughty America.

Hey I have an idea! Let’s go to Urban Mo’s! Look at Jenn feigning enthusiasm. And the ever so sexy Tommy Defendi.

DJ

The cranky mid-wife.

I heart Jonathan!

We love Jamie, too. She’s like smart and stuff. She’s gonna be a doctor. Trevor Knight in the middle.

By 8 pm we were back at my place listening to music and hanging out. Wresting matches, broken beds and Jagermeister shots! Your average Sunday  at Laura’s.

Saturday 1.23.10

Tommy and his peeps from LA wanted to eat at On The Border for some god awful reason so we got the troops together and headed to Mission Valley. By the time we were halfway through brunch and had managed to offend everyone in the patio area sitting near us, the gay porn stars had decided to stay another night and were going to run around Hillcrest in Suite703 attire and continue promoting the relaunch. As you can imagine, this turned into utter chaos and debauchery. I will spare you most of the photos… I have the photos of the boys making out  stashed on my computer for my private collection

We hit Fiesta Cantina and met some nice lesbians.

You know I love reflection pictures.

Here we are looking pretty put-together. It was early still.

LA Jenn

Jonathan doing an amazing job at getting us new customers.

Urban Mo’s

There was an episode of Top Chef last season where they had to deconstruct classic dishes… this is deconstructed onion rings. lol (I would link to the episode but I STILL haven’t finished watching last season on dvr and I am afraid to go to their website.)

We then trekked over to Baja Betty’s and I saw the tiniest pair of UGG boots. I think they are so ugly… unless they are this size. Then they are ok.

The boys were sick of Mexican food so we  decided to eat some grub at Ono Sushi. I have eaten there no less than 100 times and know everyone  so I immediately walked in and apologized in advance to the manager Mark for what was about to happen. He bought us a vat of cold sake and we ordered a shitload of delicious sushi. I love that place and the best rolls there are the Triple Fantasy and the Munchi Roll. Dee-LISH!

I ducked out super early and gave Tommy money to entertain the boys for the rest of the night … We need to hire a babysitter.

Friday 1.22.10

Sorry I have been MIA… life is moving fast around here and finding the time to write is difficult. I mean between the parties at the gay bars and the drinking, it’s all I can do to stay alive and get my work done.

Oh come on, I keed, I keed. Well sort of…

Two of my sisters have expressed concern about my drinking (despite my repeated warnings to stop reading this blog… I know it’s my own fault. I was so proud of my foodie blog and I told my family to check it out. I regret inviting them now that I have decided to spice things up here). My brother wouldn’t know how to turn a computer on if his life depended on it so no concern there. And then my other sister, well, she’s pretty conservative and I would never in a million years tell her about this… hopefully she doesn’t find it. Second to oldest sister point blank asked me if I had a drinking problem over Christmas. I denied it. I could totally quit drinking tomorrow if I wanted to. I just don’t want to!

And then my oldest sister emailed me and said: “How come you number people…?  Do they not want to associate with you? LOL.  Wondering about your sexploits, you can’t seem to settle on anything/one. What’s up with that?” ……and then a day later wrote: “I know you’ve suggested that family members stop reading your blog but I find them very entertaining.  It’s just the big sister worry thing when you talk so much about being drunk,  hungover or having random sex.  You’re a big girl but I can’t help it if I love you. Love,”

In regards to the random sex….

RANDOM [ran-duhm]–adjective

Oh, I can assure you they are all very deliberate and have definite aim, reason AND pattern.

Anyways… Today was our big release party in San Diego for www.suite703.com.  We had 4 gay porn stars in town who were hired to dance and promote our site at Rich’s in Hillcrest. First we met them at Yard House for dinner (I tried to get a reservation at Suite and Tender since they were all staying at the Se Hotel, but since it’s stupid restaurant week, we couldn’t get in. In retrospect, its better off that we weren’t at a high end restaurant… my god these boys get squirrely.) Dinner was actually good, I absolutely love the white truffle mac n cheese at that place…

(MAC & CHEESE)2
chicken breast, applewood smoked bacon, wild mushrooms, cheddar and parmesan cheese with castellane pasta and white truffle oil

Totally delicious, even for a chain restaurant! After dinner we walked to my loft where I had decorated the walls with glamour shots from our new content on the site. The boys walked in and saw 20×30 posters of themselves… it was really funny and fed their egos nicely. I had one made of 818 and hung it up as well and have managed to completely creep him out.

Here we are… one big happy family! I am like the mom, except that I want to do bad things to most of them. (**gasp!** sorry!)

It was a huge success… we gave out tshirts, condoms and access card to check out our site. All of the go-go dancers and bartenders were wearing our gear and if you were a customer that night there is no way in hell that you left there and didn’t know what Suite 703 was. Tommy got up and gave a lovely speech and introduced our boys… we had a lot of support from our friends and co-workers and we had a great time.

Here is Kim looking very sexy in her whore makeup.

Kim and Tommy Defendi (all the girls looooove him)

Rich and his straight girl crush, Dallas.

I was on my way to ducking out a little early when Michelle took a tumble and fell down in the vip area into the bottle service table and cut her hand all to hell. The steps in there are dark and stupid and in a very awkward place.  I have to admit that I panicked a tad when I saw all the blood. I was too in shock myself to even snap a photo of the scene. Damn! She probably should have had stitches, but given the fact she just had her appendix removed 2 weeks ago, she definitely didn’t want to spend time in the ER anytime soon.

Wednesday 1.27.10

Three things you should know:

1) My mother smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day.

2) She died of lung cancer when I was eight years old.

3) I have never taken a drag off of a cigarette in my entire life.

Now that I live downtown and walk everywhere I notice people smoking all of the time. On every corner and at every bus stop. I smell it on my clothes more. I was in the bathroom at my office today and there was a woman in there with me who was either smoking or still smoldering from her cigarette. I smelled like it for the next hour.

I see smokers get up from the dinner table three times before the appetizer is even served to go smoke. I see people say that they “only do it when they drink”… but then go out for a smoke break during the day at work. (Does that mean they drink at work, too?)

I have many friends who smoke casually and try to hide it from the rest of us. Sometimes they chew gum and sometimes they spray some nasty Victoria’s Secret Body Spray when they come back from a smoke break. Which is even more unpleasant. When I can taste the smoke and the body spray… puh-leeze. Stop trying to hide it.

What is bugging me the most lately is the amount of smokers who litter. If you are going to be disgusting and smoke in the first place, at least put your butt out in the proper receptacle. I am utterly appalled at the amount of people who walk down the street and flick their butt on the ground.

Many of you know me as the Recycling Nazi: I dig through the trash and I often accuse people of hating the earth when they put things in the trash that belong in the blue bin.

I have a new mission in life. Carry rubber or latex gloves, pick up freshly tossed butts and remind people that something has just fallen out of their hands.

(This might be as fun as reminding girls that they have forgotten their pants at nightclubs. Stay tuned.)

Tuesday 1.19.10

This is a particularly crazy week and almost all of my days are booked with meetings and appointments and the juggling act of running production for both companies. I also had a hot date with 210 tonight.

JK…

Christian (many of you know him as male performer, producer, internet troll, predatory milf recruiter, message board flamer… I could go on) was coming to the San Diego offices so we could have some much needed professional one-on-one time to discuss the content that I buy from him. We haven’t hung out very much lately and we are both very very busy. He used to deliver content to me regularly but since his cameraman switched to tapeless, he simply works too much to take a leisure trip to San Diego. We have an interesting (and mildly dsyfunctional) relationship… professionally and personally. Just the other day he told me that he loved me and hated me in the same sentence. I was also called Hitler a few weeks ago. lol. I hope that we can both step outside of our own egos and realize that we need to change the way we communicate with each other. I know I definitely need to take a step back. He busts his ass for me and I know I can be gruff at times and may not show appreciation where he might expect it. That being said, I don’t need to get phone calls at ten o’clock at night about a particular model’s new boob job. I try to draw the line somewhere and set some boundaries, most of which are generally ignored by my dear friend.

That being said, after several hours of bickering he left for the gym and I watched a bunch of gay porn while waiting for him to finish so we could go to dinner at Cowboy Star. I am always hesistant to eat here since the last time I went it was below average. It seemed like every single one of their appetizers had a sauce on it that tasted remarkably like Dinty Moore beef stew. Yes, I know it’s revolting that I can recognize the flavor of something so dreadful. But I can also admit that I have enjoyed many cans of Chef Boyardee’s Beefaroni in my life. And Cheez-Whiz, too.

I ordered the venison carpaccio (it was average, a little spongy to be honest)

Christian ordered the steak tartare and then attempted to not let me share. Evidently he has forgotten the rules of dining with me.

I had the 20 oz bone-in rib eye with a side of roasted bone marrow.

Since it was restaurant week and the place was packed with cheap diners, we sat at the bar and shot the shit with the bartender for a little while. He said that there were some people down at the end laughing at us because Christian, the 6′ 4″ neanderthal ordered the 14 oz. steak and I ordered the 20 oz. The steak was ok, but I might be spoiled lately with my dining experiences in Vegas.

All through dinner there was this cool shadow cast on his face from the window decal. Quick call Gene Simmons!

This is how I felt at the beginning of dinner.

But it’s amazing how 2 glasses of red wine and a chocolate bread pudding change my mood. Of course, he ordered the peanut butter mousse with bananas because he knows I hate bananas on my dessert. Nothing has changed in our time apart.

We went back to my loft and watched some more content and gossiped about people in the business before crashing out. I have been getting up super early to workout at the gym and that 5am alarm is going to come very soon. yuk

Saturday 1.16.10

Chris and I decided to spoil ourselves rotten on Saturday night and make a very decadent meal at my house. Last year during my Last Supper Birthday Challenge he successfully made seared foie gras and he wanted to do it again. He also brought bison sliders and I made duck fat/white truffle popcorn and red velvet cupcakes with bacon in them. Gluttony.

Open faced bison sliders

This is what raw foie gras looks like in case you ever wondered. It’s pretty fowl.

Chris smoked up my place so bad… it still reeks like burnt meat as I write this.

The $69 foie gras wouldn’t be complete without some decent champagne.

I love that the first time I attempt to bake anything in 2 years it looks like a murder scene.

Yeah, fuck off, I cheated … these aren’t from scratch.

Popcorn as expensive as what you buy at the theater!

The exact moment he tasted it. Seriously, I think I found my calling in life.

Kim decided the popcorn would taste better with cream cheese frosting on it. This is also a girl who thinks that spraying “I can’t Believe it’s Not Butter” on the lip of a Coors Light can makes it taste better.

Food coma.

It felt good to snuggle on the couch watching TV with my good friends. I have been running crazy like since I moved in and haven’t really had a chance to chill out at home and enjoy it. We stayed up late watching last season of Top Chef (we still didn’t finish and thankfully I haven’t learned the winner so please I beg you, don’t tell me) and I slept in til noon on Sunday. This, my friends, is exactly how to live.

Friday 1.15.10

Well today was the big day that Tommy and I had been furiously working towards. There were many people involved but he and I had been spearheading this project for close to 6 months now. We have been trying to stay afloat with our own duties all the while creating this thing we are both so passionate about. Thank you to the others involved (only a few who actually read this blog, thank you Taylor!)… we are really going to kick some ass now.

We decided to head out for happy hour in the gayborhood (shocker) so we met Chris and Rich and Jennki Jen at Baja Betty’s. We had a small snack and headed over to Urban Mo’s for a little while before Tommy and I almost fell over from exhaustion. (But not before I smooched and mooched a free drink from my new favorite bartender and bff Wes.) I think Vegas finally caught up to both of us. An early night but here are a few cute pics for you:

There is this awesome shuttle thingy that takes customers between the bars on University.

Chris and I ended up taking a taxi because the kid in the front seat was apparently on a “date” with the driver! lol CLASSY.