Sunday 2.21.2010

We slept in til noon and it was fucking exhilarating. The fucking was exhilarating, but the sleeping was more exhilarating. 818 made me a lovely omelet with all the right amount of swine and then we decided to hit the movies.

We went to see Avatar in 3D at Citywalk. BTW I need these for my loft! Giant pocorn hanging from my 50 foot ceilings would be pretty dope.

I have to admit I knew nothing about this movie, except that folks were seeing it 3 and 4 times and claiming it to be the most amazing thing ever. I literally didn’t know it was an alien movie until we walked into the theater and I saw the little blue guy. Here is my take on it all: it is the same old storyline, but then again, what movie isn’t a version of the same basic 8 storylines. This was Harry Potter (flying creatures), Alien (Sigourney Weaver) and every Disney love story where the boy meets the kings daughter in the forest, blah blah blah. Would I sit through it again? Hell no! It was awesome and I would love to visit a place like Pandora one day and have the ground turn lime green when I walked on it, but sitting through 3 hours of that again? no thanks.

Before I caught the train back to San Diego we decided to grab some sushi at Sushi Go 55 downtown inside the Little Tokyo shopping center. Any sushi in this area was sure to be authentic and we were most likely going to be the only white people in there. We were our usual brave selves and ordered a bunch of wacky stuff off the menu. Tempura battered shiitake mushrooms with minced shrimp served with a bowl of salt and brown flecks of who knows what. The mushrooms were good, but the rest was too greasy.

Yellowtail collar. Confirming that I don’t really like cooked fish. This was nothing special, just tasted like regular old cooked white fish. It didn’t stop us from destroying it, though.

Your average sushi order: maguro, toro, mackerel, red snapper, and a soft shell crab roll.

And now here is the winner of the night in disgusting. Shark fin with pickled ginger. Most of the shark fin was gone at this point, but here is the other stuff in the bowl, which we think was like jicama. The shark fin had the texture and stiffness of cartilage (go figure! lol) and the white vegetable stuff you see here was covered and oozing with a snot like substance very similar to what you would expect to be covering an alien.

We didn’t leave there hungry by any means, but I definitely won’t be going back. Next time I will make sure I am there on a night other than Sunday and hit up R23 which I absolutely love in downtown LA.

I snoozed the whole way home on the train and then went straight to bed. I love to sleep.

Saturday 2.20.2010

My friend needed to come over early on Saturday morning to try on suits for a job interview on Monday. It was merely a formality at her existing job so she didn’t want to spend any money on buying one. Last night we were discussing the logistics of it. She offered to bring coffee and we discussed the fact that it was entirely possible that there might be a few porn stars  in my loft. She wanted to make sure they were ok with babies since she would be showing up at 8 am to do this with her 9 month old. My text to her: 1 coffee=$4. Gas to get downtown=$3. Borrowing a suit=Free. 3 porn stars babysitting while trying on suits=priceless. (I don’t know… it was funny when I sent it. Not so much a few days later while I type this sober.)

The car ride to LA was fun. And by fun, I mean a total and complete nightmare. I was still drunk. Nikki had shoved the stuffed animal monkey that I carry around to take photos with down her pants so it looked like pink pubes sticking out.

The girls were playing a game called “Let’s make the most annoying sounds”. There was a shit load of traffic. I was thirsty. My head hurt. But every once in a while a good head banging song would come on and Nikki would go crazy. And we would laugh our asses off. You can hear Puma squeaking German sounds once in a while. Sounds a little like a sick kitten if you ask me.

I was dropped off at 818’s place and we literally just sat on his couch talking for 3 hours. It was awesome to chill out and do nothing. We didn’t even have the TV on. We were supposed to meet Jenn and the crew for her birthday at this Brazilian place called Bossa Nova on Sunset, but apparently the shit show went on for too long today at Saddle Ranch and none of them could pull it together for dinner. Our options were go to her house and watch them attempt to order in and pray that it be edible…. or go to dinner just the two of us. We chose Crustacean in Beverly Hills.

Inside the place there is a fish tank under the floor. It’s pretty cool and definitely makes the time go by if you are unlucky and are waiting for a table.

The place was packed but somehow when I called 3 minutes before arrival that constituted a reservation of sorts and they seated us immediately. Maybe they recognized me because of my famous food blog. Bwhahahahaha! We started with the appetizer sampler. Clockwise from the left: open faced mini ahi tacos, egg roll shaped things filled with a creamy yummy goodness (I have no idea what the hell was in that), short ribs (nothing like Phil’s in SD, and a little dry), and minced shrimp puffs on a bamboo stick. (Which incidentally squirted and most definitely shot out and hit the man standing behind me.)

I had the Chilean Sea Bass with a ginger sauce (3 stars out of 5)

818 ordered the red snapper with a sun dried tomato Asian pesto sauce. (I wasn’t a fan of his and he wasn’t a fan of mine. It worked out nicely)

Kieran Lee and Puma Swede molesting my pink monkey at Happy Ending in Hollywood.

A very cool shot of Puma in front of the wheel of drink specials. I am kind of in love with this photo.

Oh shit my worlds are colliding… I have straight and gay porn stars in the same venue. Puma, Trevor Knight and Jen with one N.

Tommy watch out for her. I know Trevor thought she was legitimately was a tranny. Lol.

Add Jayden Grey to the mix.

And add yet another porn star, a girl I have known forever named Misty Anderson! It was very strange randomly running into her and her ex, Gunner. They hung out with us all night. I am quite sure they were confused when an entire entourage of gay men walked into the straight bar and attacked me and 818. Anyways, Misty’s boobs are amazing. And no, she is not really that tall. I am just trying to get closer to her tits.

She is gorgeous, sweet, all natural and a country girl who rides horses. What is not to love about her?

HAHA! I am so mesmerized by these things. I think every bar needs one.

I didn’t get any photos of the physical abuse I endured tonight from Swenz. At one point, I was seriously exhausted from defending myself. It is funny for the first 10 minutes, but I was really just tired. They had worn me out. I went to the bathroom to escape them and they left the bar knowing I was over it. Good. Maybe they will chill out next time I see them. geeeez.

Half of our crew ditched Jenn to go to Here Lounge down the street. Jonathan, 818 and I decided to stick by Jenn and hang out with her. She merely requested ONE night to stay away from the gay bars. We had to honor her birthday request.

It was fun and not as annoying as I thought it would be. Maybe because I was a little tipsy. Tipsy enough for road head on the way home. (**wink**)

Friday 2.19.2010

Lisa Ann was in the office today for a meeting and Nikki Benz and Puma Swede were scheduled for webcam. We had coordinated the whole thing so that the three of them and Lauren and I could go tear up San Diego after their day was over. They all stayed at the Se Hotel (the place is sexy and fun despite that Sunday morning that the bartender pissed me off so bad.) After work while Nikki and Puma were still stuck doing their live shows, Lisa Ann, Lauren, Baker and Erin met up at Bareback for happy hour. Lisa’s friend Joy was also in town and her other friend John who is a sommelier for a vineyard in Northern CA. I am such a dickhead that I lost his card in the last 5 days. I will have to get his info from Lisa Ann because he invited me to a really cool event in Sacramento and I need to see my friends that live up there anyways….

Here is Lisa Ann posing with a famous downtown character that we affectionately call “The Chief.” He was actually on my Twitter/Photo/Scavenger Hunt list last year on my birthday.  He appears to be Native American Indian and he never wears a shirt, no matter what time of the year it is. Tonight he was sporting the Mexican wrestling mask. This is a new look for him. Perhaps he had a zit he was trying to hide.

Ok so happy hour turned into sushi at Taka… we were so hungry and buzzed that I totally forgot to take pics of the food. But it doesn’t really matter because I eat there like every 3 weeks now and order the same fucking thing. Uni, Special Battera roll, Special Eel roll, toro… etc… I would love to know what is so funny is this picture.

I also would love to know what she is sassing Baker about. Again, Baker proclaimed that this was one of the best meals of his life. I am proud to say that I am truly teaching this heathen how to live. He had never had toro before. I am happy to be responsible for this.

Joy

…and then we trekked over to the Se to meet up with The Swenz. You can sound it out and figure out with minimal effort that that is Swede and Benz. When they are out together causing havoc you have Swenz.

It’s amazing how tall she really is. Baker is almost 6 foot 6.

They are only mildly harassing me at this point in the evening.

And here still yet, it’s fun to be around them. In fact, I invited Nikki to sit on my lap for a funny picture as if she is giving me a lap dance. Lisa Ann is always behaved and dignified.

Where the hell was Lauren ?

This guy was awesome. He was a Borat sort of looking character… we thought he was a mime because he was dancing around and not speaking. It was bizarre. I will have a gram of whatever he is having please!

James and Lauren

Swenz is still relatively behaved.

And then a little rougher. You should see the shit on their cameras. I am fighting with all of my might to keep my shirt on. Explain to me why I hang out with them? They had a $100 bet with someone that they could lick my nipple. Hahaha!

Swedish Fish, of course.

Puma makes the most awesome faces! Love it

And this photo is in honor of my niece who went to the hospital once when she was 5 for sticking a bean up her nose.

Baker was too drunk to drive so we took a cab back to my loft and I made him stay the night on the sofa. We cranked the music for a while (neighbors are still gone!) and in the morning he woke up utterly confused and told someone later that he thought he woke up at Target. I laughed all day when I heard that one. My loft is like Target and Michaels on mushrooms.

Monday 2.15.2010 and Thursday 2.18.2010

Anytime someone asks me if I can cook my response is “Well, I can operate a motor vehicle, so I should be able to read a recipe. I just choose not to.” (I know some of you are debating on my ability to operate a motor vehicle, and you are well justified, but really…. I can read a recipe and I can cook.)

Chicken and bacon fried rice

Benihana can suck it! It was delicious and I even made it into that heart shaped nonsense that they do there.

My friend Pearla’s mom is now making homemade chocolate truffles for like $20 per dozen and is currently working on a special batch for me. I bet you can guess some of the ingredients I have requested.

Fast forward to Jarin’s birthday on Thursday. I was supposed to be at trapeze school with him today but I am too chicken shit to do this before my trip to Australia/New Zealand next month. I know, you only live once… blah blah blah. But the special 2 for 1 thing he got is good til July and quite frankly, I do not want a broken limb to fuck up my vacation. I really am not that graceful. I would be fine hurting myself while bungee jumping off a bridge or something in NZ.

Kim and Sarah

Vanessa and Jen (with one N)

Some dudes, Dusty and Jarin

We were doing fine at The Local until that damn Jessica sent a text saying “come to the Chee-Chee”. FML I cannot be doing this on weeknights. Jen slept over and since my neighbors are gone we had a little dance party in my loft at 1:00 am. Strangely enough I woke up wearing hot pink leg warmers thirsty as hell. It must have been the pound of cheese and crackers we ate. UGH. What a bummer it was my 6th day in a row at the gym on Thursday. I was doing so well. I need to drop 10 pounds before my trip. I have a month. I can do this.

Sunday 2.14.2010

My friend Jason came over in the early evening to shoot the shit and get some advice, and in exchange he offered to teach me the interwebs and the googles. We polished off a bottle of wine and he walked me through Google Analytics and how to embed a video to YouTube! Oh man oh man… this is going to be fun. I was already asked to delete the one video I practiced with. Sorry Rich, Nikki and Michelle. It was classic for the 24 hours it lasted online. So…. I had every intention of sitting in front of my computer fucking around and when I got bored with that I had a date with the DVR. I was also experimenting with a new cocktail … lemonade, pomegranate juice and vodka. It was quite delicious.

I would suggest less pomegranate than this though

Sound of record scratching…. Dallas sent me a text claiming that I HAD to come meet her at this awful place downtown called SideBar (this is like your typical “bro” bar… for lack of a better word to describe a straight bar in the gaslamp.) She said it was turned into “alternative night”as Circuit Sundays, marketed towards the swinger lifestyle and the gay community. I did not believe her but she managed to get me out of my pajamas and down the street. She promised gays, drag queens, a crowd and that I wouldn’t have to wait in any lines. Deal.

As I walked up I saw a guy from my work and his boyfriend. Ok, I knew it was legit, I will proceed inside the club.

I swear you need 3D glasses to see this photo better. Let me know if it works.

Dallas looking as sexy as ever.

Juan and Brett

I love Dallas shoving her tit in Juan’s face. Sweetie, remember they aren’t into boobs.

Her “top” being held together by a paperclip.

Umm ok.

At one point a “straight” go-go dancer standing on the bar above me leaned over and stuck his tongue in my mouth and was claiming that he actually worked at the bar on regular nights and that they asked him to stand in as a dancer tonight and that is why he was up there. His boyfriend was eyeballing me and when he hopped off the bar the BF came over to me and hissed “You know he’s gay, right?” I was like “Hey, he started it. I was just trying to order a fucking drink.” I think he was trying to make him jealous and it obviously worked. Funny.

And yes, of course this happened. Believe it or not they were not posing for me, I caught them in mid-scream about who knows what.

I actually had a really good time. I’m glad I didn’t sit around sulking about being alone on a holiday that women take so seriously and that frightens the shit out of men especially men who you haven’t even determined what you are with so why would they get you something for this day created by Hallmark which would put so much pressure on him and only solidify the awkwardness that has or has not been created by the lack of the talk of what you “are” in the first place. It would be much easier to pretend that your phone died.

Yeah I know that was a really long run on sentence.

Thursday 2.11.10

I went to the Nickel Diner in downtown LA before catching my train back to SD. A few people had told me about this place after they heard about it on that show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.

Talk about sugar overload! This is a maple glazed bacon donut. I think it goes without saying that I had felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I would even consider living in Los Angeles for this.

Red velvet donut with cream cheese frosting inside. I was hoping for the donut to be red velvety but this was still pretty damn good.

And what sugary breakfast wouldn’t include a homemade pop tart?

I ordered eggs but didn’t bother with pictures. What is the point really?

Friday 2.12.10 was fairly uneventful …I went to happy hour at Bareback and I went home to spend some time with my DVR.

Saturday 2.13.10 was a gorgeous day in San Diego and I had big plans to go to this rare cheese/gourmet chocolate/fine wine event at the Hotel Del Coronado at their wine bar called Eno and after rounding up the troops (Rich and Chris and Chris’s sister) I thought it might be a good idea to call and see what the deal was with the event. Annnnnnd…….. that is when they told me it was sold out. Mind you Chris was outside my place waiting to pick me up when I had the bright idea to get organized. What a moron. Epic fail on my end. We ended up going to to the Fish Market on the harbor to have some wine and snacks and watch the sunset. It wasn’t a total waste of a day… but definitely not what I had planned and not the way to do things.

Smoked fish platter.

Ahi poke and spicy tuna roll.

Two of my favorite mo’s: Chrichard and Richtopher. They are very different but one in the same.

Wednesday 2.11.10

Dinner before the show was at The Foundry on Melrose. For those of you who have been reading for a while you might know that my friend Eric Greenspan is the owner and executive chef and every time I am in LA I try to make it over here for some delicious eats. 818’s little step-brother flew into town so we were dragging him around for the night trying to show him a good time as well.

We ordered the grilled cheese sandwich again (check out the blog from a while back if you don’t remember), and we ordered the Tots. (cheesy puffs of goodness)

Greeny stopped by and asked us what we ordered and I got the death stare when I told him tots and grilled cheese…. soooo…. other dishes just started arriving. Braised pork belly… this time was huge and more awesome than the last time I got it. Dang.

Tuna

He also sent out some little biscuits and something else which I forgot to take a photo of. Fail. For my entree I had the monkfish, which was out of this world. I had only tried it one other time and it was raw and nasty so I was a little nervous. Cooked fish is always a gamble for me. I love things un-cooked ya know. It had the texture of lobster almost. And the sauce was light and frothy. Very good.

818 had the duck breast, which was Greeny’s recommendation.

and 818’s little brother had the burger. Which just so happens to be the #1 burger in Los Angeles right now. Congrats Greeny! Check this link. He serves 4 mini burgers on 4 mini buns, that are not seperated. The garnishes are a carmelized onion mixture, not sure what the white sauce is, and then a relish of apple and fennel. Good shit.

So off to the awards! Puma Swede and Nikki Benz attacking me within 3.2 seconds of seeing me.

818 and his brother, but look to the left… I DIDN”T EVEN NOTICE MANUEL FERRARA! Damn it! I would have gone up to him and gotten a hug and a smooch! fuck!

The lovely Phoenix Marie

I looked like dogshit in this next photo so I cut myself out of it because Phoenix is so beautiful.

Keiran Lee looking dashing and despite his non stop harrassing of me, I actually like the guy.

I finally met Georgia Jones…. wow what a knockout. Stay tuned for her on live/webcam.

Brynn Tyler and Kagney Linn Karter. Congrats KLK on your contract… we will miss you for the next 2 years I have a soft spot in my heart for her because we shot her very first scene and she turned into an utter superstar.

Bridgette B looking stunning as well

and my favorite Brit Kerry-Louise! I am not sure what we are doing in this picture. I know 818’s little brother has a pic on his camera of us doing something ridiculous to her new tits. I will see if I can get ahold of it.

Here is Bad Artie, one of the 5 finalists who ran for Naughty President.

After a while, I got the urge to hang out with some gay men so we went to Mickys to meet up with some friends. A fellow fag hag named Ashley and Diesel Washington and his boy toy. My god Diesel is huge and hot and sadly very gay.

Papa Howard and Octomom pose for a photo

We only stayed for one drink before heading over to Here Lounge. On the way I saw this hilariously small patch of grass for dogs to pee and poop on. So funny!

One final drink with Chi-Chi La Rue and Jason Sechrest before I head back to San Diego. It’s been a long week in LA, a city that I don’t even like.

I took a photo of this hot go-go dancer and he had the nerve to flip me off! Hey, buddy you are the one standing on a box shaking your ass with almost nothing on. F off if you don’t want any photos taken of you then go work at Starbucks. Sheesh.

Tuesday 2.10.10

I ordered room service at the Sofitel but was only mildly impressed. The truffle mac-n-cheese sounded and looked good but was pure grease.

The steak tartare was actually really really good though.

After working in my room for most of the day a bunch of us went over to 818’s for homemade pizzas. I love that he cooks…. how dreamy

I am not really a cat person, but she is very sweet.

Check out Tommy…he isn’t sure if I am taking a picture therefore he wasn’t able to make a face. Ha!

We debated on going out and hitting the bars again but logic got the best of all of us and we called it an early, sober night. Well, I had 2 beers and a half a bottle of wine, but that’s pretty much sobriety to me.

SISTERS, save the comments.

Monday 2.09.10

Tonight was the Cybersocket awards held at club called Eleven in West Hollywood. Before heading to the awards we went to dinner at Sushi Roku.

We started with the tuna carpaccio

And then gorged ourselves on this feast! Bottom right 4 pieces is kobe beef sushi (I didn’t care for it #1 because I am spoiled by Cut and #2 they seared it with those blow torch thingys which make everything taste like propane. Eww.) The toro (top right 6 pieces, fatty tuna belly) was un-fucking-believable. Melted in your mouth! If you are a fan of tuna, you must try toro one day. Spring for it, splurge, spend a few dollars. You won’t be disappointed.

Before we went to the awards we stopped at a little bar across the street for a warm up cocktail. I can’t remember the name of the place but doesn’t Justin Martindale in this picture remind you of The Shining?

DJ, Angel Benton and Tommy Defendi (I cannot take Angel’s contact lenses!) But how hilarious is it that he wore a wolf t-shirt to the awards show!? HAHA! love it! Side note, I love Angel for so many reasons. One that he showed up to my SNL Party as Ms Swan from Mad Tv (check that video around 10:30, he does a perfect Ms. Swan)  And because of his Britney Spears impersonation. They actually made a movie starring him and I have my very own signed copy.

Congrats to Wolf Hudson … Love that guy!

And I have to admit, I have not seen one of this guy’s movies. Ooops. Might wanna check into that.

I would love to know what is going on here.

Ryan Raz double fisting as usual. Man of my own heart.

And here I am with more stars from the show that I know nothing about. Marcellus Reynolds from Big Brother. What a sweetheart

And I leave you with Justin Martindale re-enacting a scene from his favorite Disney movie, the Lion King.

Sunday 2.07.10

We went to The Abbey for a late breakfast with the entourage and indulged in this red velvet ding-dong. Whoa.

Love the reflection shots…

oh hey hot straight guy giving away snow-cones! What are you doing later? Maybe we could start off our date by cutting your hair off?

This is Ruby, the new love of my life. Well, her owners took her away from me pretty quickly when they realized my unhealthy obsession  with her.

How cool is this? Have you seen the app for the iphone that is like Etch-A-Sketch? you shake it and then it magically goes away

This guy Pierce is all over SoCal, I swear to god he is just mysteriously at every event. The grape martini they were drinking looks yummy but was not good at all. Don’t you love that a martini is in a giant glass like that?

Outside of Ripley’s …I dunno it struck me funny.

This is Christy’s little dog Guinness who loves to nibble on her hair while she is sitting next to him. He is a pitbull/chihuahua mix and I fell in love again today.

so freaking cute

After the superbowl party at Christy’s house we went to this place called Happy Ending in West Hollywood. It was very awkward for me to be in a straight bar. I was very uncomfortable and it was tragic to watch men and women hit on each other and dance poorly after hours of drinking. We were there for one drink and left. I was asleep by 10 pm and it was exhilarating going to bed sober and and waking up fresh the next morning.

On a side note 818 finally read my blog and is a little butt hurt that I don’t call him by name and that all the photos of him are in large group shots. So here is Adam aka 818.

I can’t believe I just did that.