Sunday May 9, 2010

I slept in til 10:30 and by 10:55 I was talked into packing a bag and heading to the airport to catch the 12:15 flight to Las Vegas. This is probably one of the most sponaneous things that I have ever done and it felt great! I didn’t even flip a coin! I was poolside at Mandalay Bay literally exactly at 2:00pm and found myself surrounded by some very drunk people. Lisa Ann’s birthday is today and she had a bunch of her civilian friends as well as a couple of people from the industry including Nikki Benz and a director named Vic. I have said this before but there are very few “porn stars” that I consider personal friends: Nikki and Lisa are two of those people! One of the big wigs at Mandalay comped a room and within an hour I had talked Nikki into changing her flight in a few hours and staying over night.

Meet Billy! Billy works for a tequila company called Ambhar and also owns a bar in Cancun. This dude is a ball of energy and I could not get enough of him. And you have to love that tshirt.

Here he is telling the most ridiculous story that I would never in a million years would have believed had he not had witnesses say that it was a true story. He was driving in Mexico one time and saw a chimpanzee in a motorhome driving next to him smoking a cigarette and flipping him off. They pulled up next to the other vehicle for a photo op with the critter and unbeknownst to Billy…chimps do not like their nipples to be touched. It escalated into a fist fight between the 2 primates and they were both arrested. As it turns out the chimp also tested positive for cocaine. Who could possibly make up a story like that?!!?? I need this guy in my life. Plus he called me “Little Person” which always makes me feel good about my fat ass. He is like Chelsea Handler! And he screams “Hot Cock” about every 4 minutes and has a baseball hat with that phrase on it. I am sure there’s a good story there.

I can almost guarantee that they are laughing at Billy’s antics.

Billy likes to call his friend Chris “The Biggest Puerto Rican in Captivity”

I was dying laughing at that and Chris was a good sport and let me tweet it with a picture.

Lisa’s good friend and hairdresser Champagne Shelly and some guy who I think is named Mike. I love Shelly, she and Lisa travel all over the place together. She works at a salon in Orange County and works hard so she can play hard. I might have a new travel buddy.

Lisa’s boy toy for the day who cannot be named or photographed… lol

Some guy with a small penis who decided to show it to everyone at the Moorea Beach Club pool. He covered up as soon as he saw my huge lens though.

On the way back to the rooms Lisa decided to jump in the fountain for a mini photoshoot.

Nikki was not having it though.

I mean come on! Are these hot or what?!

The water was fucking disgusting and I sincerely hope she doesn’t need medical assistance later this week for whatever she ingested. The big wig at Mandalay called her ass out the next day though because he saw it on one of the zillion security cameras. Too funny!

The boys were not as amused.

I was sharing a room with Nikki so we went back to the room to order room service and to take naps before heading out to the clubs. This is $200 bucks worth of average tasting food. Pancakes, bagels with lox, kobe beef burger, pizza, wine, fruit. Omg we were delusional and only ate about 1/8 of it.

When I stay in hotels with awesome views I like to take shots at all different times of the day.

Our naps turned into full night’s sleep and at 1:00 am I went over to Lisa’s room with a bottle of wine and stayed up watching Couples Retreat til 4:00am and just shooting the shit.

I have decided that day drinking is the way to do Vegas…screw that nightclub bullshit.