I had lunch with my friend Alex in Hollywood at a place called The Corner. I have known Alex for about 15 years and have stayed in touch with him even though he moved to LA. He is an architect (has worked for Frank Gehry!) and has a design firm now and is loving life. He is trying to set up an office in San Diego so I hope to see more of him. We had a great talk about our careers (or lack thereof in my case) and relationships and where we are in our lives. It’s good for me to talk to people outside of the porn world once in a while because sometimes I think I am losing my mind. He put a few things in perspective for me that I hadn’t thought of. Points to ponder so to speak.
After lunch I had some errands to run and then I headed over to Jonathan’s house to chill out and wait for him to get off work. His roommate Beth was home and I met her charming chihuahua Finnegan. It’s pretty obvious that Finnegan is not a fan of the fish eye lens.
We went to a gay mixer called Spring Out at the Sofitel. It was pretty frustrating because there were a ton of hot guys there and they were all well dressed, well behaved, held good jobs outside of porn aaaannnnd… gay. It’s my own fault. We didn’t have time to eat before we went so our dinner consisted of these nasty cheeto thingys and booze.
Have you ever seen the show “Whose Line is it Anyway?” where they take an object and have to come up with different uses for it? An improv thing kind of like charades with a random object. Well, something like this…
There were about 30 more but you get the idea. Next bar! The Abbey! Next prop! A sugar cane stick!
Creepy.
Then we went to Fiesta Cantina where the bouncer kept yelling at me for conducting a photoshoot in the stairwell.
Jonathan is a hot gay dude with a great personality. If you would like a date with him, hit me up. I can arrange this
And lastly I will leave you with what I think is a very funny video of the sounds that Finnegan makes when he is upset. You might not find it as amusing as I did at midnight, but then again, maybe you will. Beth was not amused by our antics. Sorry Beth!
I drove to LA today to pick my friend Ben’s brain while he worked. He’s the awesome photographer that I had lunch with before my trip and he was shooting some smut today so I went to hang out and talk with him for a bit. I hadn’t been on a porn set on a long time and it was more fun that I remembered He gave me a lot of good advice and information for an upcoming shoot I have next week. It’s a women’s clothing catalogue and I have to tell you I am very nervous about it. I am pretty rusty when it comes to studio lighting and whatnot. But I do love a challenge and this is a paying job, so I gotta tackle it like a pro.
I met up with the gay porn boys that I love so much for dinner and drinks. We ate at Cafe Etoile with a rowdy group of about 10 or 11 of us. It’s a small little French restaurant in the heart of West Hollywood. My favorite funny man Justin Martindale was with us and succeeded in making me giggle hysterically all night as usual. I cannot get enough of him. Next vacation I am bringing him for entertainment value. Every time he calls me it goes like this: “Hi tranny, it’s me, tranny.” I have no idea why but it never fails to get me going. Luuuurve him.
Duck Pate (not a ton of flavor, but edible. Justin called it Fancy Feast lol) And I don’t think I have ever seen pate served at a restaurant with crackers?! Ghetto! Usually they spring for brioche. (little toasted bread for those that don’t know anything about pate)
I also ordered the escargot which were amazing… doused in butter and garlic and perfectly done. It was fun sharing with the brave eaters and then watching the others wig out about eating snails.
And for my entree I had the crabcakes which 818 had claimed were the best crab cakes he had ever had. I can assure you, they were the worst crab cakes I have ever had. Flavorless, over cooked hockey pucks. Obviously they changed the recipe or got a new chef because they royally sucked. 818 even tried adding ketchup to them and that didn’t help at all. I ate like 2 bites.
Tristan Matthews, Trevor Knight, George Jaramillo (standing in back…dreamy!) and Justin Martindale
I desperately want George to not be gay.
And my favorite gay Masshole, Trevor!
We went to The Abbey for a few drinks and then I retired to my hotel room. I had redeemed my free stay at the Standard in Hollywood for this incident. Thank you Jenn for making hotel security believe that you were me.
I got up early and had breakfast with Yesenia, another producer/director who worked for me at Naughty America for years. She started as a makeup artist, moved to production manager of the entire LA operation and about a year and a half ago started producing/directing for the company as an independent contractor. She is a ball of energy and we have been good friends for years. Plus she is a die-hard U2 fanatic like I am! We went to Basix Cafe in West Hollywood after attempting to try The Griddle and seeing about 872 people in line at 9am! Aren’t you people supposed to be sleeping in? It’s Saturday! Everyone always rants and raves about The Griddle so I guess next time I better wake up at 7am or go on a weekday. Sheesh. It was good to catch up with her. As it turns out her parents are moving back to Guatemala in the fall and I do believe if I can get past this pesky little SCUBA problem I am having, I will be inviting myself to go with her. Belize is very close to Guatemala and is the second largest coral reef system behind the Great Barrier Reef. I have never been to Central America and I would love to be able to check that off my list. After this trip to Australia, continent #7, I need to make up a new to-do list and fill in the gaps. (as I type this I just tried to give you 3 or 4 of the places that are at the top of the list and I can’t even do it! I can’t even narrow it down to the top 4)
The train ride home is always so relaxing. I love taking the train to and from LA but then it sucks when you have no vehicle while you are there. (But then again driving in Los Angeles is probably my least favorite thing to do. I would rather do housework than drive in LA traffic.) The train back to San Diego allows you to stare out the window and gaze at this for about an hour. Put some headphones on and ignore that small annoying child you hear.
I had an extra ticket to Cirque du Soleil because Rich was being a jackoff and decided to hit the bars all day instead of going with Chris and I to the 4:00pm show in Del Mar. I told him if I didn’t find someone to go that he had to come with me or give me the money for the ticket anyways. He threatened that he would be a hot mess and be wearing board shorts. The last thing I want to do today is have that drunk ass in my car and sitting next to me during a quiet dark show. I called my friend Erin and she was happy to join us… so what if she only saw one inning of her kid’s baseball game before ditching him. lol
I have been to a lot of the Cirque du Soleil shows… In Las Vegas: Ka, O, Mystere, Zumanity, two traveling shows called Dralion and Varekai, and there was one focused on music called Alegria. I have yet to see the Criss Angel, Elvis or Beatles shows in Vegas.
Kooza is their latest traveling show. If you are in San Diego and have ANY free time this week you need to check it out! Well worth the $70. It ends on March 28th though so hurry!
Of course you are not allowed to take photos in there so I found some clips of my 3 favorite acts.
The contortionists girls were incredible! I think like 3 or 4 more Bikram yoga sessions and I should be good to go for a new career.
The tightrope guys were amazing…. It is unreal how these people make their bodies do things that look humanly impossible. Strength, balance, concentration and an incredible amount of trust in their partners. First of all, when is the last time you jumped rope?? Let alone on a tightrope 50 feet in the air with no net below you! What you don’t see in this clip is the bicycles they ride across the tightrope and then the chair that goes on top of that and the guy who stands on the chair. Crazy!
and my favorite act (probably of ALL of the shows I have ever seen) is this one… The Wheel of Death: (again with the jumping rope around 4:45 )
These videos don’t even do it justice… they are dark and being there is an entirely different experience. Other highlights of the show were watching the 6 year old boy in the front row freak out when the big giant dog pees on the audience.
An actual burst of liquid comes out and hits the front row. Then the dog turns around and pretends that he is kicking and covering the mess. This little kid wigged out and ran to the other side of the stage and then everytime one of the clowns would approach the stage he would bolt. It was hilarious. It looked like he was with his Grandmother and Erin and I were cracking up that this kid would be scarred for life and never want to go with his Nana ever again. Of course they call volunteers up to the stage at various parts of the show and I always wonder if they are planted in the audience or just chosen when they arrive. I am sure they have to sign some sort of release and the crew probably tells them what to do to make the show more interesting. They always seem to roll with the punches just right. It made me think of the time I was at Sea World and I literally fell for that trick with the “volunteer” girl falling into the pool during one of their dolphin or whale acts. My nieces were dying laughing at me because I legitimately panicked and thought the girl fell in. I would bet that Sea World has probably cut that act out of their shows recently.
After the show we went to dinner at Pamplemousse which is one of my favorite restaurants in San Diego. (along with Addison and Phil’s BBQ.) I started off with the Pamplemousse Martini (pamplemousse is the French word for grapefruit btw) Absolut Ruby Red (my flavored vodka of choice these days) Cointreau, fresh grapefruit juice and lemon juice, served with a sugared rim. Dee-lish!
Chris and I love to order a bunch of appetizers when we come here because they are all pretty awesome.
Abalone with lump king crab:
Clockwise from top left: shrimp with an amazing soy ginger sauce, fried oyster, lobster ravioli in a peppercorn sauce, crab served on a bed of greens with a carmelized red onion and in the middle was tuna tartare. The peppercorn and ginger sauces were definitely LTP worthy (for those of you just joining us, LTP is the “Lick The Plate” award) but for some reason have not had the courage to lick plates in public lately. Maybe I was not drunk enough.
Truffled white asparagus soup which looks as bland as it tasted. I didn’t really taste any truffles.
This was a smoked fish platter which was so over powering I actually had to push it to the other side of the table. I am very weird about fish sometimes. I like cooked salmon. I like smoked raw salmon on a bagel. I do not like cooked smoked salmon and I don’t particularly like raw salmon unless it is smoked. It’s weird.
And the mother of all dishes at Pamplemousse THE WHITE TRUFFLE LOBSTER GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH. Ladies and gentlemen, this sandwich is fifty bucks. We actually told ourselves when we arrived that we weren’t going to get it because we have had it so many times before. And then we caved. Because of the smoked platter that I recoiled at I was able to barter and get 2 slices of this.
Dinner was amazing and I went home and crawled into bed at 10:30. I love sleep. But then at 2am I woke up puking and shitting. Not too fun. I am just happy that I was not able to identify what food it was that made me sick. I would hate to have to hate something from that restaurant. Everything is too yummy.
The benefit to vomiting is losing weight. I am down to 141 from 148 last week. I know, it’s disgusting.
Wednesday March 3, 2010 and Thursday March 4, 2010
I decided to take a little trip to LA so I could run some damage control with people in the industry. I don’t want anyone to panic and think anything is wrong and I want everyone that I have been dealing with for Suite 703 to feel confident that it’s going to be business as usual working with Tommy 5tone. Poor kid has a lot of his plate now, but he can handle it and will be fine as soon as they get someone to help him. I am going to be working from home for the next few weeks to get him through this transition..
On Wednesday I took the train to LA and then to a subway to Hollywood. It was actually really easy and makes me hate LA a little bit less. I met Justin Martindale at his apartment and fell in love with his roommates new puppy. She is a rescue from some bad people who kept her crated for like 15 weeks and her back legs aren’t very strong. What a little sweetheart.
Justin was performing tonight at the Hollywood Improv for Gay Days, a monthly thing they do showcasing gay and lesbian comics. It was great, each one of the comics goes on for about 12 minutes or so and I can honestly say that Justin was in the top three. The crowd was in hysterics the whole time. The guy who plays Darryl from The Office showed up and was just chilling at the bar…. and I wanted so badly to take a picture with him, but didn’t want to be “that girl”, the rookie who gets star struck in Hollywood. After the show we went to a small place in West Hollywood called Saint Felix for a few drinks with the comics from the show. I had the sliders which were made with bleu cheese dressing and were delicious! Then we decided to head over to Here Lounge where Justin and I were getting pretty silly and he was lusting after a hot go go dancer. 818 gave up drinking for Lent, so we had a sober driver all night. It’s pretty awesome but isn’t doing anything for my liver.
We went back to Justin’s place and he showed us a bunch of creepy weird clown toys that his old roommate left behind. Umm. Ok. Scary.
My Dad was a huge John Wayne
What a sexpot!
On Thursday during the day I saw Hot Liz and Carly Parker who were in town from NYC. We hung out briefly in the back of Eva Angelina’s SUV because Liz just had foot surgery and couldn’t walk anywhere. So basically they picked me up, we chatted in the car while driving for an hour and then they dropped me off in West Hollywood. Hilarious.
I went to an event at Micky’s with a bunch of industry people and told everyone about the changes that are going to happen and then got up at the crack of dawn on Friday to head home for my last day in the office. I am a little emotional…
Here is Steven Daigle from Big Brother. What a cutie!
Dinner before the show was at The Foundry on Melrose. For those of you who have been reading for a while you might know that my friend Eric Greenspan is the owner and executive chef and every time I am in LA I try to make it over here for some delicious eats. 818’s little step-brother flew into town so we were dragging him around for the night trying to show him a good time as well.
We ordered the grilled cheese sandwich again (check out the blog from a while back if you don’t remember), and we ordered the Tots. (cheesy puffs of goodness)
Greeny stopped by and asked us what we ordered and I got the death stare when I told him tots and grilled cheese…. soooo…. other dishes just started arriving. Braised pork belly… this time was huge and more awesome than the last time I got it. Dang.
Tuna
He also sent out some little biscuits and something else which I forgot to take a photo of. Fail. For my entree I had the monkfish, which was out of this world. I had only tried it one other time and it was raw and nasty so I was a little nervous. Cooked fish is always a gamble for me. I love things un-cooked ya know. It had the texture of lobster almost. And the sauce was light and frothy. Very good.
818 had the duck breast, which was Greeny’s recommendation.
and 818’s little brother had the burger. Which just so happens to be the #1 burger in Los Angeles right now. Congrats Greeny! Check this link. He serves 4 mini burgers on 4 mini buns, that are not seperated. The garnishes are a carmelized onion mixture, not sure what the white sauce is, and then a relish of apple and fennel. Good shit.
So off to the awards! Puma Swede and Nikki Benz attacking me within 3.2 seconds of seeing me.
818 and his brother, but look to the left… I DIDN”T EVEN NOTICE MANUEL FERRARA! Damn it! I would have gone up to him and gotten a hug and a smooch! fuck!
The lovely Phoenix Marie
I looked like dogshit in this next photo so I cut myself out of it because Phoenix is so beautiful.
Keiran Lee looking dashing and despite his non stop harrassing of me, I actually like the guy.
I finally met Georgia Jones…. wow what a knockout. Stay tuned for her on live/webcam.
Brynn Tyler and Kagney Linn Karter. Congrats KLK on your contract… we will miss you for the next 2 years I have a soft spot in my heart for her because we shot her very first scene and she turned into an utter superstar.
Bridgette B looking stunning as well
and my favorite Brit Kerry-Louise! I am not sure what we are doing in this picture. I know 818’s little brother has a pic on his camera of us doing something ridiculous to her new tits. I will see if I can get ahold of it.
Here is Bad Artie, one of the 5 finalists who ran for Naughty President.
After a while, I got the urge to hang out with some gay men so we went to Mickys to meet up with some friends. A fellow fag hag named Ashley and Diesel Washington and his boy toy. My god Diesel is huge and hot and sadly very gay.
Papa Howard and Octomom pose for a photo
We only stayed for one drink before heading over to Here Lounge. On the way I saw this hilariously small patch of grass for dogs to pee and poop on. So funny!
One final drink with Chi-Chi La Rue and Jason Sechrest before I head back to San Diego. It’s been a long week in LA, a city that I don’t even like.
I took a photo of this hot go-go dancer and he had the nerve to flip me off! Hey, buddy you are the one standing on a box shaking your ass with almost nothing on. F off if you don’t want any photos taken of you then go work at Starbucks. Sheesh.
Tonight was the Cybersocket awards held at club called Eleven in West Hollywood. Before heading to the awards we went to dinner at Sushi Roku.
We started with the tuna carpaccio
And then gorged ourselves on this feast! Bottom right 4 pieces is kobe beef sushi (I didn’t care for it #1 because I am spoiled by Cut and #2 they seared it with those blow torch thingys which make everything taste like propane. Eww.) The toro (top right 6 pieces, fatty tuna belly) was un-fucking-believable. Melted in your mouth! If you are a fan of tuna, you must try toro one day. Spring for it, splurge, spend a few dollars. You won’t be disappointed.
Before we went to the awards we stopped at a little bar across the street for a warm up cocktail. I can’t remember the name of the place but doesn’t Justin Martindale in this picture remind you of The Shining?
DJ, Angel Benton and Tommy Defendi (I cannot take Angel’s contact lenses!) But how hilarious is it that he wore a wolf t-shirt to the awards show!? HAHA! love it! Side note, I love Angel for so many reasons. One that he showed up to my SNL Party as Ms Swan from Mad Tv (check that video around 10:30, he does a perfect Ms. Swan) And because of his Britney Spears impersonation. They actually made a movie starring him and I have my very own signed copy.
Congrats to Wolf Hudson … Love that guy!
And I have to admit, I have not seen one of this guy’s movies. Ooops. Might wanna check into that.
I would love to know what is going on here.
Ryan Raz double fisting as usual. Man of my own heart.
And here I am with more stars from the show that I know nothing about. Marcellus Reynolds from Big Brother. What a sweetheart
And I leave you with Justin Martindale re-enacting a scene from his favorite Disney movie, the Lion King.
Tommy and I met Jason Curious and some other boys at Basix for a quick breakfast this morning before we hit our meeting with the PR company. I inhaled my eggs benedict since I had only eaten a handful of Pringles for dinner last night. We spent the better part of Friday planning the rest of our launch parties and booking all of the travel for the upcoming trip to New Orleans! I can’t tell you how excited I am to be going to NOLA for Mardi Gras. The gay end of Bourbon Street is not even going to know what hit it. I finished up a few hours of work stuff and then we headed to Fiesta Cantina for a quick snack. I was not about to ruin my dinner at Cut by filling up on nachos. (Although I did a number on the queso and dips)
Ok, let’s move onto the important things in life. I met Nikki Benz, Puma Swede and Diana Doll for dinner in Beverly Hills at Wolfgang Puck’s Cut steakhouse. You know how I feel about this place if you have been following me for a few weeks. The menus at the LA location are a great concept, except that the portraits of the celebrities are all fairly unflattering. I wonder who the photographer is. I could look it up, but honestly, I think the pictures are kind of awkwardly ugly.
Nikki ordered the crab cocktail (too much mayonaise for my liking. I can’t believe I even said that. I love mayo)
Filet mignon carpaccio (notice the shaved black truffles on top)
The last time I ate the bone marrow flan I was gobbling it up so fast I didn’t even eat it the way it is supposed to be eaten! Apparently you put this mushroom tapenade on the toast and then put the flan on top. I made all three of the girls try it (reluctantly) and guess what? They all loved it. So for those of you who think I am disgusting and eat weird shit… don’t knock it til you try it.
And the love of my life, my soul mate: kobe beef sashimi. Again, all three of them tried it and loved it. So much so that I had to order another one for myself. Sheesh.
At this point, I was living in la-la land if I thought I would even put a dent in my steak. And AGAIN I fucked up and forgot to tell them to serve it to me on a cold plate. By the time it arrived it was waaaayyy overdone. I was annoyed at myself.
The most exciting part of my evening was guiding Nikki into ordering the American Wagyu beef and talking her into ordering it medium instead of medium well. She, like many many people, gets freaked out by the blood on the plate and orders their shit medium well or well done. It sends me into orbit knowing that a steak tastes SO MUCH BETTER on the rare side. If you can get past the texture and the color, you will never go back to well done. I promise you… when you are at a dinner with someone who eats their steak rare, just be brave and ask for a little taste. You will not regret it. I am trying, one steak eater at a time, to change the world.
Dessert was delicious marscapone filled donuts with strawberries and ice cream.
After our very late night dinner we went into the bar for a little bit and that is when I discovered this older woman attacking her date. Oh man, it was awesome. I had Nikki pose so I could capture them on the left side of the frame.
At this point, I am pretty sure she was onto me.
Two couples: me and Nikki are fighting and Puma and Diana are newlyweds.
Thanks girls for a fun night! Nikki drove me back to the Roosevelt where earlier I am 99.9% sure I was in the elevator with a famous rapper or hip hop artist. The Grammy’s are in town this weekend and the hotel is filled with famous musicians. Obviously none that I could identify. The cars in the valet are bright and have loud motors and hip-hop blaring out of them. Totally not my scene. Bling and baggy jeans. No thanks.
Tommy and I drove up to LA to do another promotional event for Suite 703 at a place in West Hollywood called Micky’s. It’s a meet and greet for gay porn stars to meet their fans and they were super cool about letting us give away tons of our schwag and pretty much take the place over.
Our favorite gay comedian Justin Martindale and Tommy the Tool again. I am just going to start cutting him out of the photos.
Drew Cutler and Rob Romoni
My gay porn crush Trevor Knight
Steven Daigle from Big Brother 10 who is now officially a porn star! Congrats to Chi-Chi La Rue for being the devil and talking him into doing porn.
This is a guy named Bobbie who I chatted with on Twitter for a while and we finally met. He reviews gay and straight porn… we have some business to discuss
It only goes from 6pm til 9pm so afterwards we went to the Abbey where we got a booth and bottle service. Our entourage was quite a spectacle.
Zoinks look at this dude’s body!
Oh wait, THIS is my gay porn star crush… His name is Johnny Hazzard and I legitimately get nervous around him. This is the second time I have met him. He’s so dreamy.
Alright, once in a while we get a pleasant face. Thank you Tommy.
This is apparently Michelle from Big Brother 11. I had strict instructions from my best friend Sigrid who is utterly obsessed with BB to tell her how upset she was that she had been railroaded in the show and that it was awful how mean they were to her. I have no idea what any of this means since I have never seen one minute of that show. Here ya go Sigrid!
Perez Hilton was also there but I didn’t get a photo of him. Here is Taylor Dane. Evidently after I left the DJ started playing a bunch of her songs. lol The gays love Taylor Dane! She was very nice even though she looks like she has me in a headlock.
Again, I ducked out early. Wouldn’t want to miss a chance to get laid
