On Thursday afternoon Tommy agreed to go to Bikram yoga with me because it’s such an important part of my life now and he wanted to show his support. Not such a good idea. He made it through about 4 postures before laying down on his mat and hissing “I HATE YOU” for the rest of the class whenever I looked at him. His body went numb and he was freaking out as his face turned purple. Ooops. I guess it’s not for everyone after all. Especially not smokers who eat french fries for every meal. After yoga we grabbed some food and headed to a pub crawl. Problem is we were 2 hours early for the pub crawl so by the time it actually started I was done.

 Bobby Clark, Tommy and Drew Cutler.

Some of my favorite gay porn stars…Bobby, Ryan Raz, Cameron Adams and Austin Wilde.

On Friday George Jaramillo showed up and was about to take his very first drink of 2010 and I raced over to his hotel straight from yoga (stinking and sweating) so I could join him. The cab took forever and his martini was totally watered down but it didn’t matter…he sucked it down and was totally buzzed. lol. In 2001 I went 30 days without drinking and on the 31st day I got HAMMERED after 3 drinks. I can’t imagine 9 months.

We were on our way to the Gayvn Awards at the Castro Theater and decided to take the Muni since the cab line was taking forever. I will spare you all the shots of the gay porn stars and just share a couple that I liked that you all can handle.

Love this shot!!!

I got one of those bras at Victoria’s Secret that makes your tits look like 2 sizes bigger and I thought it would be appropriate to pose in front of this bar

Do you remember Bruce Vilanch from Hollywood Squares!? He’s always at these events for some reason…

The host of the evening was comedian Alec Mapa…who was totally hilarious and awesome.

Here a performer named Diesel Washington demonstrates some sex positions using Alec as a rag doll. lol

This tranny has more curves that most women that I know! What the heck!

My ex-bf told me that I was 3 degrees away from Kathy Griffin at this point. I would say closer to one degree away.

Saturday August 28, 2010

Earlier in the day…

Moe: “Hey Claw, I am going to wear my ‘Cocktails’ tshirt today. You should, too.”

Claw: “Oh that’s a good idea. I will make sure mine is washed.”

Moe: “Cool. So I will see you at the party in a few hours.”

Claw: “Yeah, perfect. I miss you. I can’t wait to see you.”

Moe: “I miss you, too. See you soon.”

Meet Hank…the cutest yellow lab in the world.

The lens must smell like other dogs and that’s why they are so interested in it lately.

Maggie is a chocolate lab, but you really can’t see her cute face.

Hank and Oscar going at it for hours on end.

Drew Cutler, Tommy and Steven Daigle in his glasses.

Noel and Tiffany…who is done with chemo! woohoo! We were also celebrating the completion of their backyard. It was one year ago that they started and it looks amazing. Congrats on all the hard work!

Moe and his little brother Wes who just moved here from Boston to go to SDSU.

Meet our extended Long’s Drugs family. (Back row left to right) Dan, Mikel, Noel, Emma, Moe, Train, Chad and Eric. (Middle row left to right) Tiffany, Zimmer, Alicia, me and Claw. We all either worked at Long’s in PB in the late 90s into the 2000s or we were roommates/significant others with people who worked there. It is a much much larger group but many people have moved away. You will notice that Tiff is holding a photo of Melissa and Matt…we miss them sooo much.

Watch what Claw is doing to me.

I finally had to go to the other side.

Pyramids! The last time I was involved with one of these with Emma (who weighs 4 pounds and is always on top), Moe and Claw it was in the lobby of the W Hotel downtown on my birthday last year. Rich was there, too as well as Puma Swede and Nikki Benz. I need to find that photo. It’s priceless.

Tiff and her boy Hank.

After the party we went back to Tommy’s where I discovered this amazing suitcase with a vintage jacket inside! It took a few minutes but I managed to talk Tommy into letting me have it. Despite his “Getting Kicked out Kegger” back in May at the house he squats in, he still lives there. It’s full of weird surprises!

Tommy slept in today and did not make it to the races with his Daschund Denny. Denny did not like to be put in the suitcase one bit.

We went to Fiesta and when the drama started happening is when I checked out. Gay guys and their drama. Jesus.

Thursday 2.04.10….Friday 2.05.10…Saturday 2.06.10

I am going to give you the shorter cleaner version.. in a few days I will be releasing a different blog which shows a little racier content honoring the gays in my life.

Our first LA party was at a club called Tigerheat which is an 18 and up club with a 21 and up area. Trust me, I almost had a heartattack too when I heard that. I know it appears that I do nothing all day except party with gay men but I can assure you that I would much rather be at home watching a movie then dealing with a bunch of ridiculous 18 year olds in an over crowded, packed, sweaty dance club. That being said… we had a blast! Perez Hilton was there for a minute and I didn’t want to be weird and take a picture, so you just have to take my word for it again.

First we went to our PR guys house for some pre-party drinks and food. He has two very cute dogs who I was trying to bond with of course… I am very much missing my dog these days and tend to gravitate towards all animals that I see. The one on the left is a little nervous, I think she might have been a rescue, but the one on the right is a lover.

The ever so funny Justin Martindale… get ready to see a lot more of him! I swear I cannot get enough of him… he is so goddamn funny…. I just want to put him in my purse and carry him around all the time.

It looks like we own the building! Love it!

and…. two of my favorite people

Moving right along to Friday night at MJ’s bar in Silverlake….

DJ, Tommy Defendi, Jenkki Jen, Ryan Raz and Eric who supported us the entire weekend at all of the events! Thank you!

Justin and one of our very first Suite 703 models Brad Benton… love that guy! He is a mainstream actor as well… read here. But yeah, they were having a hair contest I guess.

We heart Drew Cutler.

Wait til you see the footage from these nights. Hilarious.

Always carry a Sharpie my friends.

SATURDAY crept up and we went to Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles. I was so excited and so hungry.

awwww

We had dinner at the Sofitel in a restaurant called Simon owned by Kerry Simon. (Read more here) Good thing they put us in a seperate room with a door.

There are too many porn stars here to name…

For my appetizer I tried the tuna tataki tower with a lump crab topping. All of the elements would have been fine on their own,  but they just didn’t work together. The crab was warm with a mayonaisey mixture, the tuna was cool and the rice was lukewarm. It was drizzled in eel sauce and in theory all of these things sound like they would work together but it was very confusing. It didn’t know if it was a cold dish, a lukewarm dish or a hot dish. Disappointing to say the least. And it looks like a pile of vomit.

For my entree I had the beef carpaccio pizza with white truffle oil. The bleu cheese was overpowering so I ended up just picking off the beef and eating it by itself. Not so good.

The lobster curry soup was actually not that bad…

The highlight of my meal was sitting next to Justin and having him accuse me of leaving my toe seperator in his soup. Oh my god, I spit wine across the table, had tears streaming down my face and pretty much lost my shit in front of everyone. If you have never had a pedicure you probably have no idea what I am talking about. Funny shit.

We hosted our third and final LA party at a place called CherryPop at Ultra Suede

Holy crap look at his abs

I had to pop over to Here Lounge to say hi to Chi-Chi La Rue and Jason Sechrest at their party for a minute….

how artsy !  hawt

Jenn and Tommy and Christy

And my favorite shot of the weekend… Jenn looking like she’s terrified of Trevor Knight.

A good time was had by all.

Thursday 1.28.10

Tommy and I drove up to LA to do another promotional event for Suite 703 at a place in West Hollywood called Micky’s. It’s a meet and greet for gay porn stars to meet their fans and they were super cool about letting us give away tons of our schwag and pretty much take the place over.

Our favorite gay comedian Justin Martindale and Tommy the Tool again. I am just going to start cutting him out of the photos.

Drew Cutler and Rob Romoni

My gay porn crush Trevor Knight

Steven Daigle from Big Brother 10 who is now officially a porn star! Congrats to Chi-Chi La Rue for being the devil and talking him into doing porn.

This is a guy named Bobbie who I chatted with on Twitter for a while and we finally met. He reviews gay and straight porn… we have some business to discuss

It only goes from 6pm til 9pm so afterwards we went to the Abbey where we got a booth and bottle service. Our entourage was quite a spectacle.

Zoinks look at this dude’s body!

Oh wait, THIS is my gay porn star crush… His name is Johnny Hazzard and I legitimately get nervous around him. This is the second time I have met him. He’s so dreamy.

Me and the super famous Chi-Chi La Rue!

Alright, once in a while we get a pleasant face. Thank you Tommy.

This is apparently Michelle from Big Brother 11. I had strict instructions from my best friend Sigrid who is utterly obsessed with BB to tell her how upset she was that she had been railroaded in the show and that it was awful how mean they were to her. I have no idea what any of this means since I have never seen one minute of that show. Here ya go Sigrid!

Perez Hilton was also there but I didn’t get a photo of him. Here is Taylor Dane. Evidently after I left the DJ started playing a bunch of her songs. lol The gays love Taylor Dane! She was very nice even though she looks like she has me in a headlock.

Again, I ducked out early. Wouldn’t want to miss a chance to get laid

Monday 1.11.10

Last night was the latest night so far… I think we went to bed at 5:30 am. I slept in til about 12pm, fucked til about 2pm and dragged my ass to the lobby bar at 4pm. I am seriously busted, have no voice and have no interest in speaking to people that I am never going to do business with. I dodged a few people that don’t recognize me with my new look (20 pounds lighter, long hair and smaller wire glasses) and I said hi to a few folks from the biz that I actually do care about. I had a few drinks and rallied the boys for dinner at Yellowtail at Bellagio. But first we had to check out the conservatory…..

The botanical gardens at Bellagio change every few months and are intricately decorated to whatever seasonal thing is going on… alas we are just on the heels of The Year of the Tiger in the Chinese Calendar.

It was under construction but I can assure you when I go back next month for the kobe beef sashimi, I will stop by and give you a better understanding of the beauty of this place.

For some reason the other night at 3 am Puma Swede decided to start calling me Octomom. I think it was the nerdy striped sweater that inspired her. I dunno. It stuck on Twitter for a few days, but like most of my ridiculous nicknames, people get bored easily and move on. Here I am with my eight children

And onto the important things in life: booze and food!

We (meaning me) couldn’t decide on what foo-foo cocktails to order so I had them bring one of everything for us to rotate around the table and sample.

I am pretty sure this was tempura crab (crap when you blog 8 days later you forget shit)

Ahi tuna pizza SMOTHERED IN WHITE TRUFFLE OIL (yes, I made them bring out another one!)

Yellowtail serrano in ponzu sauce (not bad)

Another beef tartare tataki thingy FAR INFERIOR to Cut.

More yummy stuff that I cannot remember for the life of me. That looks like toro for sure. (the fatty part of the tuna,  called tuna belly)

Uni and oyster shooters! Deeeelish.

annnnndddddd, the entire reason we came to this place! The crunchy roll that has Pop Rocks in it! It is such a weird sensation to have in your mouth A) after so many years of not even remembering this candy B) having it combined with fish and/or rice. It’s definitely a novelty item, so by all means, if you aren’t already AT the Bellagio, don’t make a special trip over there. If you are in the neighborhood and are hungry, then definitely check it out. The best thing this place has going for it is the view of the water show. In the summer it’s amazing if you are sitting outside and can hear the music.

And we are off to one more night of hell! And by hell I mean drinking heavily at Pirahna and staying out late while screaming at each other in a club filled with smoke and annoying wasted people. Ok, perhaps I am one of the screaming annoying wasted people… but hey! I try to make everyone enjoy themselves by funnelling alcohol down their throats. Meet Drew Cutler… our unofficial contract boy for Suite 703.

The greatest thing ever (well, aside from the light table thingy from last night) a screen that shows your text messages. Apparently, this is all the rage and I am just living under a rock….

And lastly, one of my favorite Suite 703 actors Tommy Defendi trying to violate me. I love my job!