Monday August 23, 2010

Ryan and I flew to Orlando for the week for a wedding/event video conference. He had submitted a “Love Story” type piece and was hoping to win an award for it. Sadly, he didn’t place and we suspected that it might be a bit political…a lot of the winners were old time members of the organization and were also the ones speaking at seminars during the week. His piece was really good and was definitely comparable to the winners…oh well, maybe next year. During the awards dinner they could not get their shit together! Amazing that a conference for techie geeks had so many issues with their audio and visual devices. It was embarassing to be honest. They redeemed themselves with the informative seminars and the tradeshow floor was decent. We got to play with some gear…I am definitely ready to start shooting and editing my own videos. I have some really funny ideas that will surely make you all laugh. But that’s going to be another site/blog that I start.

I finally got the Canon 7D with a lens that I have been salivating over all year. It is pretty much changing the way videographers shoot and that was what a lot of the seminars were covering. How and why to shoot video with a DSLR.

The conference was at the Dolphin hotel on Disney property. Let me tell you if you are considering going off birth control you should spend some time in Orlando in the middle of August. Good gawd.

Even though I rented a car so I could get myself to yoga everyday we pretty much ate at the hotel. The second night we had steak at Shula’s. Check out this fancy wine dispenser…

I had the WaterBoy cocktail with watermelon and some other foo foo stuff. It was actually too sweet. I always like to try new cocktails before the meal starts, but often they are too sugary for me.

After dinner we went to the “dance hall” to watch a bunch of middle aged nerdy videographers dance to the “Cha Cha” and other ridiculous songs that suck. We were both fascinated by the giant video monitor and were just bouncing some cool ideas off each other about video production. Ryan and I work really well together and are both excited about our future and the super secret project.

The last night we went to BlueZoo, a Todd English restaurant. I had the most incredible cocktail: Level vodka infused for weeks with gobs of Bazooka Joe bubblegum, lemon juice and egg whites (I never knew that was used in drinks to give it that frothy texture!) It literally tasted exactly like a piece of Bazooka Joe gum.

Ryan ordered the shrimp that was rubbed in BBQ seasoning and served with grits.

As you can see I gave it the LTP award.

I decided to splurge and order what the waitress said was one of their oldest signature dishes: Cantonese Lobster. She made a point to say that it was lightly tempura battered but in fact, it was heavily battered. I ended up picking most of the meat out of the breading. It had a decent flavor, but honestly the breading was overwhelming and let’s face it…lobster should just be served plain or with butter. There’s a thorough review of it on yelp…I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Kind of a neat shot I think.

Thursday rolled around and I reached my 30th day for the yoga challenge. I had only completed 29 classes. My choices were to double up a day while I was in Orlando since Monday was a day in flight…but the seminars were important and the studio didn’t offer an early class except for Wednesday. I finished the 30th class on Friday back in San Diego. I am not going to lie, I am a little bummed that I couldn’t actually accomplish my goal, but 30 classes in 31 days is still not bad. A personal goal is a personal goal and when you don’t complete it…it’s definitely a bummer.

Monday August 9, 2010

I stayed a few extra days in Fort Lauderdale to hang out with Howard and we had big plans to hit the spa on Monday. That unfortunately did not happen…Howard was too busy at his office and after our late lunch it was too late to do anything so we just went and hung out at his house and ate dinner.

A few highlights of the day… nasty bacon flavored vodka called Bakon! (I am waiting on a video of me drinking a shot and nearly puking)

For lunch we went to Alibi and I have to admit that I was a little nervous about eating lunch in the bar we came to the other night. I was really trying to avoid eating bar type food, but was pleasantly surprised to inhale these “ahi nachos.” Several of my favorite things from a Japanese restaurant: ahi, sweet eel sauce, seaweed salad, crispy chips and topped with a cream sauce. Deeeeeelish. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Don’t judge a bar’s menu from the outside or from the shots you did there the other night.

I finally got Tyson to sit still for a few pictures, but like I always say…little dogs are afraid of things for very good reason. They are so squashable so easy.

Here Tyson and Archie are singing their hearts out for you all.

ahaahahhah so damn cute

Archie is also a little timid…he was rescued from 3 abusive homes before finding his place at Howard and John’s.

Total sweetheart though

And Tyson grooms and licks Archie til he’s squeaky clean. Best buds.

I am retarded for not getting any photos of me and Howard together. I suck.

Saturday August 7, 2010

Yoga this morning? Not so much. So let’s begin our day at noon and sit poolside and grab some expensive food that tastes average.

We didn’t know what this woman’s tattoo was all about so when we ran into her later we asked her. Apparently they are writers. With problems. Like Hemingway. I can’t remember any of the other ones. In fact, she didn’t even remember who was on her back when I pointed at a spot. She would ask her friend…”Who is she pointing at?” Ummm….if I got a bunch of faces tatted on my back you damn well know that I am going to know exactly who is where.

Little Lupe and her bf Evan Seinfeld. She’s cute, and now that she has a boob job she doesn’t look like a 12 year old anymore.

Our amazing waitress WENDY! Wendy is responsible for getting us tanked in the pool because she would not stop bringing us pitchers of strawberry mojitos. That bitch.

Tommy 5tone and Brandon Lewis were so cooperative when I asked them for a romantic photo shoot under the waterfall.

It’s not that romantic when you have gallons of water beating onto your face and into your eyes though.

It started to get pretty windy but we were not about to end our awesome day. Surprisingly I got a lot of business done in the pool! It’s hard to exchange business cards when you are swimming…I might just make a set of rubber business cards for situations just like this. Watch til the end of this video. I really had no idea! ew

 Tommy kept smoking in the pool near me and you all know how I feel about cigarette smoke. Watch this funny video if you have 2 minutes to spare right now. It’s worth it.

We finally got out of the pool when the thunder and lightning came. The storm provided me with some cool cloud shots though.

We were prunes!

I was so tan I was beginning to look like Magda from “Something About Mary”…

…now that I see this picture of her tongue kissing the dog, I really am her. oh gawd.

At dinner, of course, with underwear on his head.

And shocking…the sushi bar inside the Westin had an amazing dynamite roll! LTP award for the creamy sauce and the huge real lobster bites on top.

We went up to a party in one of the big suites in the hotel and then back to Johnny’s to watch some more boys dance half naked on stage. When I got back to the room at god knows what hour I attempted a photo like the one of the moon from July 3rd of this cruise ship. This is the view from the hotel room as I saw it.

Zoomed in with photoshop…not as clear as the moon photo. BUT you can almost see the people losing their money in the mini casino. Or getting sick on board from the buffet.

And the awesome view of the pools below. I wanted to go swimming in the ocean at night while I was here. In fact I say that every year. **sigh** Not the way to live. If you want to do something…get off your ass and do it. I regret this.

Friday August 7, 2010

Yes, I am alive. I have totally dropped the ball on the daily updates and for that I apologize. When the sun is shining and the beach is right in front of your hotel…the last thing on your mind is sitting in your hotel room editing pictures and posting them on the interwebs for the 7 people that actually read this blog. So, here I am a few days late…. sioux me.

Every year for this tradeshow several hundred adult webmasters, performers, producers, directors, magazine publishers, billing companies, sex toy manufacturers and nerds who live in their mother’s basements (who build giant networks of sites that drive traffic to the big companies) descend upon the Westin Diplomat in Hollywood, Florida. It’s usually right in the middle of hurricaine season, totally expensive and the food in the hotel sucks. You must have a badge to enter the building and you get stopped at every door. It’s rather annoying, but it’s an attempt to prevent the cheapskates from coming in for the parties and networking without paying the sponsoring companies a dime. It’s quite a racket that AVN has going on…but the place is stunning, so we all do it year after year and suck it up. I have been to this show probably 6 times and the one that I will never forget is the guy who threw his patio furniture off his 17th floor balcony onto the storm windows and into the lobby. Luckily no one was hurt, but he broke 5 windows at $5000 a pop! He obviously got arrested and had to pay the fees before they would return any of his belongings. I think (I hope for his sake) that he owned his own company at that point…but seriously, how do you submit a receipt to your accountant for that one? ummm marketing expense? Everyone sure who knew he was after that night, though.

The circle in the middle pool is perfect for mooning the other people in the bottom pool

The beaches of South Florida really are spectacular. If they could just ease up on the humidity a little.

After an hour or so at the beach I went into the John Stagliano seminar to hear about his obscenity case (that he won after 2 years!)  brought by the United States of America. I was shocked that more people were not in attendance to hear the man himself, along with his amazing legal team speak freely about their victory in the first case that the adult entertainment industry has had in 30 years. Like…shocked. I was all ears and completely fascinated to hear the details of the case. This is a man who has been in the industry as a performer, director, producer, pioneer since the mid 70s. I won’t get into all of his accomplishments, but in a nutshell he was accused of distributing obscene material and fought it and won. Huge huge huge victory for our First Amendment rights.

His lawyers spoke about their roles and duties in the case…essentially the jurors all decided that the videos in question were not in good taste but they ultimately realized that freedom was more important. There were several issues with the prosecution’s actions…namely the trailer that they wanted to show the jury didn’t play. There was a technical problem with the audio/visual equipment! Lol!! The judge was pretty much like “Umm, you have had 2 years to get this DVD to play so you are a bunch of idiots” and he dismissed it. I guess it’s tough to get the jury to agree with you when you can’t show them the evidence, right? Haha! Ok, so do you wanna know what they thought was obscene? The video in question showed girls squirting milk out of their butts. Tasteless? Yeah maybe a little, but so are those nasty abortion posters you see outside of Planned Parenthood. One day in the middle of lunch one of the lawyers decided to walk over to the William Blackstone statue outside of the courthouse and say a little prayer. It worked because magically everything started working in their favor. Does John Stagliano get his legal fees back? Nope. So by all means, buy Evil Angel porn. Help the guy out for helping our freedom. I actually have seen a bunch of his movies for research purposes (I can legitimately say that ya know) and there are 3 that I love…The Fashionistas, Fashionistas Safado, and Fashionistas Safado Berlin. I literally purchased these 3 videos with my own money. High production value, hot rough sex, (average acting, but let’s be real for a minute, ok) and some of the best performers in the business. Sasha Grey got her very first role here and look, now she’s on fucking Entourage this season! I only regret that I never got to see the show while it was running in Las Vegas.

(Side note about Sasha Grey…I have known her since she first got into the business when she was barely 18 years old…I clearly remember her agent coming to me at a tradeshow showing me on his Blackberry the email she had written to him about wanting to get into the business. It was an intellectual, poetic and beautifully written piece by someone who was and is much more mature about her sexuality that most of the people that I know in their 20s and 30s. If you have seen her doing interviews or if you saw her in The Girlfriend Experience, that is truly her personality. She’s quiet, deliberate, mild mannered, intelligent, mellow (yeah she looks like she’s on heroin half the time, but that’s just her eyes)…but if you are watching Entourage…that is acting! She is not even that bubbly in real life. Anyways, at age 22 she should be an inspiration to all women in the adult entertainment industry. She is a rare case, but a bigger mainstream crossover star than Jenna Jameson ever was. Hats off to Sasha Grey!)

Since the hotel was closed to the public there was a camera crew and anchor with body paint doing interviews for Naked News! The guy in the photo is another guy named KB that I have known for years who I spoke to a few months ago about how burned out we were from the chaos of the industry and how awesome it would be to be able to walk away from it and get an amazing mainstream gig. Here we both are at the show, of course. lol. It’s too easy. And fun.

Tommy and his assistant Justin who I love because he laughs at all of my jokes.

I would love to know what they are looking for. A bag of coke? Someone drop a cherry out of their Shirley Temple? A contact lens? A lizard?

Looking south from the 33rd floor of the south tower

I thought this photo was cool… not usually the way you see the Florida coastline.

A suite party with some free snacks and wine!

I love Vanilla DeVille…we have known each other from these events for going on 5 or 6 years now…She’s great fun. Apparently last year I started a food fight with her on the last night of the show. We had been drinking all day and suddenly I just chucked a whole bowl of nuts at her. oopsie daisies. I did not remember that at all. ha.

We headed back to Ft Lauderdale to a nasty dirty creepy gay strip club called Johnny’s because Howard had some boys dancing there this weekend and we needed to show our support.

I was able to sneak a few shots of the drag queen show before the owner of the club caught me and told me to put my camera away.

Then we mosied to another gay bar called The Boardwalk where everyone took a turn at using my very expensive Nikon.

I was trying to teach the principles of photography and lighting to someone, I forget who, and was posing near the TV monitor so he could see that the light shining on my face was easier to shoot. Annnnd that’s why I am not a model. awkward. Is that me trying to be coy and sexy? eww. Or am I pretending to listen to someones annoying story?

Ok now for the breathtaking part of the evening. Last year at this show I was flirting with this bartender and could barely understand him because he’s got a very thick Brazilian accent. (He is straight.) He was trying to tell me his name and I couldn’t understand him so I pushed a napkin and a pen across the bar to him so he could write it down. He was nice enough to add his phone # but I CHICKENED OUT AND NEVER CALLED HIM ALL WEEKEND. What a dork! He is so freaking hot. So this year, I walk in, see him again, pull out the photos I have on my blackberry from exactly one year ago, show him and hand him my business card. We giggled. I got free drinks all night. (**crosses fingers** maybe I will add a 954 to my list this weekend.) I still don’t know his name.

Back at the hotel fairly early. 3am. Yoga is going to be a total bitch in the morning. But fuck, I can’t be missing 2 days already on this 30 day challenge. grrrrrr.