Wednesday July 7, 2010

Laura and I were up super early to go to Bikram Yoga so we were able to catch this beautiful sunrise over Casco Bay. I want to say that body of land is Great Diamond Island but I am not entirely sure now that I look at the map. I took a ton of pictures (shocking) and couldn’t narrow it down to just one or two so here ya go.

Laura has practiced a ton of yoga in her life so she was ready and willing to try heated brainwashing with me. She had heard how tough it was and was happy to have someone to go with her who knew what was going on. The instructor  informed me that the guy who owns the Old Town studio in San Diego is actually Bikram’s right hand man and is at all of the trainings around the country. This explains why at every single studio I have been to on my trip they knew who he was and they would say things like ”You must be a serious yogi” or “Oh it won’t feel that hot for you today” or my favorite “Ahhh so this will be easy for you today!” (lol ya not so much… it’s still a bitch every day.) Laura had a little panic attack when we first walked in the room because of the overwhelming heat, but she did awesome and I think she only skipped one half of one posture. The instructor told me that I had “beautiful”  posture on at least 2 of the poses and told her that she was doing one perfectly. Granted we are both named Laura so when she would say “Beautiful posture, Laura” we would both look at each other to see who the hell she was referring to. It was pretty funny. After class she told me that she was shocked that I had only been practicing for a few months. Now don’t get me wrong… I am flexible alright, I just suck at the standing leg balancing poses. I can bend in half but I cannot for the life of me balance on my left leg. Yet. How, you ask, will it improve my sex life? I dunno. If I find myself in the Japanese ham sandwich pose in the bedroom someday I will be sure to share it with you all. On a side note, Laura had yoga brain all morning from her state of deep relaxation (and exhaustion.) She was driving like an idiot on the road and she couldn’t form complete sentences for  hours. The best part of this story is that when we got to lunch she realized that she had forgotten her wallet at home. Not just at home on the kitchen table…she had left it on the front lawn wide open!! Only in a small town do you leave your wallet on the lawn and come home 6 hours later and find it in the same exact spot, untouched. Hilarious.

Before we went out for the day I snapped a fish eye shot of the beach. I don’t always remember to use this lens when it comes to anything other than people or animals…

Breakfast (ham and cheese croissants) was at the famous Standard Baking Company (take note that the restaurant above it is Fore Street. More on that later this evening)

We walked over to the Harbor Fish Market just to take a peek at their operation… Can you believe how cheap lobster is!? $4.50 a pound?! Are you kidding me? I mean, I can’t afford NOT to eat it. I seriously might consider moving back East for the lobster alone.

This is pretty gross…they won’t go away and I am not even sure where I picked these up. It might have been outside on 4th of July. Although I did have bug spray on that night. They don’t itch, they just look like the freaking measels. This is one of the few things that I do not miss about New England.

For lunch we drove out to Cape Elizabeth to a place called The Lobster Shack (are you really that surpised? come on) at an area called Two Lights.

P.S. I am still not sick of lobster one bit. The sun was shining again and we had the perfect view of the ocean while we ate our lunches. Again, thank you Mother Nature for the amazing weather on my trip. I will not ask for much more this summer.

For the very first time in my life I approached this crustacean a different way. I shucked the whole thing before eating it. Normally I crack open a claw and gobble it down as fast as I can. Repeat with each of it’s body parts. Today for some reason I chose to disassemble the whole thing and then enjoy it all at once. I guess this is all part of my “learning how to do things at a more leisurely pace” that I am striving for.

I was so full after lunch that I almost vommed when I saw this algae pool.

When Laura first moved to Maine a hundred years ago from NY/CT she got a job taking people on tours of the coastline so she can probably chime in here in the comments section and tell us all why the rocks look like wood. Or if you are so inclined you can read all of this.

The stones are very brittle.

We cruised on down to the most photographed lighthouse in the whole world: Portland Head Light.

I had forgotten Namwah the Pink Monkey in CT last week so Denise had to fedex it to me… I couldn’t miss an opportunity for him to visit this place! (I really need to update that site, I haven’t put any new pics on there since last summer and I haven’t even put Africa up from 2008. Lame)

The Annie C. Maguire Shipwreck

When Laura lived in Portland right after college with our other friends Mike and Alison they used to go into this abandoned mansion and screw around and take pictures of each other. I was bummed that it’s been chained off, I was looking forward to some cool shots.

This must have also been some sort of old military bunker. It’s covered in graffiti now

We got our feet wet in this bay… it was pretty effing cold.

The houses along the coast are just massive

Hey Christian! Look at my new mansion! You are still going to have to sleep in a tent on the beach though.

It was Wine O’Clock at this point so we went to Salt Water Grille and enjoyed the view of the marina.

Geary’s local brew

Omg tell me this isn’t the cutest waiting area for kids in a restaurant that you have ever seen?

Laura picked up the little one and we tried to go check out the neighbor’s chickens but were afraid that they would escape the little house they were in so we chickened out. Ladies and gentlemen, chickens do not like fish eye lenses.

Back to the beach for our nightly ritual…this time we had a spectacular view of the yacht races.

The little man fell face first into the water and got up laughing.

For dinner we went to Fore Street! You might remember Lance and Tina, the couple that sat next to me during my 25 course tasting at Alinea in Chicago in May? They arrived about at the halfway point of my meal and we started chatting about good places to eat in Boston and Maine and Chicago… They both work here at Fore Street and told me that if I made it to Portland I had to check it out. I emailed them and voila! we had a reservation. I was disappointed because they were supposed to have a whole boar delivered there this afternoon and Tina was going to let me come in and take pictures of them disassembling it. Unfortunately with the holiday the delivery was going to happen the next day.

She saved a tomato tart just for us Holy crap this thing was amazing. Goat cheese, juicy ripe tomatoes and a flaky buttery tart.

She made sure we had Wood Oven Roasted Maine Mussels sent to the table asap as well…they are from Orr’s Island and were served in a garlic almond butter broth. (I didn’t want to lick the plate for the LTP award just yet because a) I didn’t want to stick my face in a skillet, b) freak Laura and Bob out and c) eat raw garlic this early in the evening. Ya never know.) They were really delicious. (Side note: one time Bob ate 100 mussels in one sitting. And then ate a lobster afterwards. Hey what’s up Man Vs. Food!? )

Something new they were testing this evening: lobster tartare with a dressing of butternut squash oil, aleppo sauce, grape seed oil, chervil, tarragon, scallions and tomato. Then topped with sea salt and olive oil. I have tried raw crab and raw shrimp before and they were both pretty flavorless but I was willing to give it a shot. Especially since this whole trip is lobster lobster lobster.  Sadly, I learned that shellfish just shouldn’t be served raw. The texture was not like any other raw fish…it lacked substance. I don’t want to say slimy…just not meaty enough to be delictable. I was honest with the server and told him that I felt like they were overcompensating for the lack of flavor in the lobster itself by adding too many things to the sauce. It was pretty, but that’s about it. (they took it off the bill so that was nice)

Pan Seared Heritage Pork Belly from South Berwick. Prepared with pickled onion, garlic scapes, mustard, herbs and rich jus. Bob tried to get me to not eat the fatty part and I just laughed at him and threatened to order another one. lol The mustard was an interesting twist on all the pork belly I have tried in the past.

Oysters from Maine and New Brunswick, Canada: Muscongus Bay, Pulpit Harbor and Peacock Cove. Melt in your mouth delicious of course. I am definitely spoiled this trip and will think twice about ordering oysters just anywhere from now on.

I was getting full so I chose another appetizer for my entree: Oxtail Terrine from Montana (I know it doesn’t really fit in with the local fare theme of the night, but the server was raving about it and I have only had oxtail one other time) It was a cold pate served with whole grain mustard, green beans and cranberries. It was great…I think some people might not be able to get past the texture of the oxtail cartilage in there, though.

Laura and Bob ordered the Whole Wild Black Sea Bass which is filleted right at the table. The thick buttery sauce was out of this world and when I discovered that there were chanterelle mushrooms in there I almost jumped across the table and stuck my whole face in there. But it wasn’t mine to lick, and Laura was doing a number on it as well. HAHA! Our server Gabriel was fantastic and so patient with all of my questions and note taking. He was a photography buff, too so we had some shop talk as well. Overall an awesome dining experience and something you cannot miss if you are in Portland.

After dinner Tina and Lance (who were not working tonight) met us out at a place called Sonny’s where it seemed like everyone in the town stopped in and everyone knew them. I had no idea how small of a city this was… it was hysterical. You know when sometimes people come and go in your life and you don’t know why…this is Tina and Lance. There is definitely a reason our paths have crossed. They are good people and I hope to continue our friendship despite the distance between us.

Jeff who runs the So Cal division of Shipyard also happened to be in town so he came out for a drink too! Jeff and my nephew Danny went to college at USM here in Portland so Jeff comes home a lot to see his family. I was hoping to spend more time with him in his home turf but the timing wasn’t right. He lived with me for a few months at my house a few years back and it’s so dumb that  we never see each other in San Diego and have to be on the other side of the continental US to spend time together. Wicked retahded.

Laura and I had a great few days together, I am lucky that she was able to take time off and show me around town. She is so positive and full of energy and is fun to be around and I cherish the fact that we have remained friends after all these years.

Wednesday May 26, 2010

Sometimes I wonder where I am really going with this blog. I mean…I confess tons of personal information, I post random pics of dogs that I meet, I talk about getting drunk in dive bars, I hang out with porn stars, I post inspirational quotes about quitting your job, I travel the world with a hot pink monkey and I love to eat. But today…today is different. Today I have a food blog. (I know most food bloggers aren’t as barbaric as me. Deal with it.)

Let’s start off by discussing my obsession with Ferran Adria. I have been trying to get into El Bulli  for years now. They are only open 6 months out of the year and they only accept reservations via email in the middle of October for 2 days at the close of their season. For 4 years in a row, I have been declined. I tried having my old boss’s assistant get us in through his American Express Black Card and we got nowhere. Since they only have 8,000 openings per year and they have over 2 million requests the chances of me ever getting in there are about as likely as me becoming a nun. Anyways, in my opinion Alinea is the closest thing to El Bulli that is obtainable to me.  Alinea opened in 2005 and is owned by Grant Achatz who has gotten a ton of James Beard awards and who is now one of the top molecular gastronomists in the world.

The last time I was in Chicago 2 years ago I had reservations for Christian and I to go to dinner with my boss from NA and somehow I let him (boss) talk me out of it. I think his words were: “Laura, I am hungry and I don’t want to eat air for dinner.”  All week I was freaking out about not planning ahead and not getting a reservation for this trip. I was calling them for the last few days to see where I was at with the wait list and she told me that Wednesday was the best chance I had. She said the wait list on the weekend was about 100 people deep. I was gravely concerned that I would not get in tonight since I didn’t call her back soon enough yesterday. Basically if you don’t answer the phone they move onto the next person.

At 4:30 this afternoon I received a call from them and they did in fact have a reservation for me. I did not have a date. The only person that I would liked to have gone with didn’t have proper attire. I agreed to go alone. I was dining at the #1 restaurant in the United States by myself. The #7 restaurant in the world. Alone. WHO CARES!? I brought my fancy camera, my pen and paper and my blackberry…and I had a date with my Twitter followers. I ordered the 25 course “Tour” menu and the wine pairing. What the hell, right?  I was scheduled to be there for at least three and a half hours. Let’s not dilly dally… There is a lot to cover.

The place is simple and there are about a dozen or so waiters per room. Each one has tasted everything and they are very knowledgable about what you are eating. They are all wearing suits. You are served by all of them at some point or another. Some were more tolerant of my questions than others. I had some come back to explain something to me and they were able to give me more information than the first one. I guess that comes with seniority and experience. It was quiet and classy and I felt like a total idiot at first sitting there alone, but that quickly passed. I was not allowed to use the flash on my camera and the sun was setting quickly so I had a bit of a challenge shooting some of the dishes.

They brought a centerpiece for the table which I was instructed not to touch because it would become a part of one of the courses. It was there for my viewing pleasure for now though.

ENGLISH PEA: Frozen (I assume by nitrogen) with chilled bursts of iberico ham, sherry and honeydew. There was also a cold burst of a crispy honey flavored something or other. Imagine pea ice cream with the texture more of Dippin’ Dots…with bursts of other savory and sweet things. The woman who brought it to the table told me what I was about to enjoy and she mentioned everything in there except the iberico ham. I know I am not mistaken because I am a huge fan of iberico ham and I most definitely would have heard that and paid more attention to it entering my mouth. I need to try that dish again now that I know I was eating iberico ham.

SHAD ROE: tempura battered with pickled shallots and mustard gel. To be eaten in one bite with the sprig of laurel as the utensil. It was delicious, a little fishy, but hey… it’s fish!

YUBA and CHAO TOM: Yuba is a tofu skin that forms on the liquid surface of soy milk  that they had dehydrated and basically turned into a breadstick looking thing. On the left it was wrapped in shrimp with black and white sesame seeds, togarashi (7 flavor chili pepper), orange taffy and a miso dressing at the base of the bowl. On the right side was their tiny version of a Vietnamese speciality called Chao tom …barbecued shrimp paste on a sugar cane bit with mint.

Luckily I was paying clear attention to him when he said “Sugar cane is not digestable so when you are done, please put the sugar cane remnants on this little towel.” Do you know how awkward it is to spit food out of your mouth in public in the first place?? Imagine doing it in a place like this EVEN THOUGH THEY TOLD YOU TO. My instincts told me to put it under the little towel but I mean, it’s not like they wouldn’t know it was there. Very funny to me. A photo of my chewed up food for you.

The next palate cleanser I did not photograph because it was simply a shot of clear liquid. It was what they called DISTILLATION of Thai flavors and was Thai green chilis, lemongrass and fish sauce. It tasted like a shot of ocean water, but strangely, very delicious.

PORK BELLY: this was probably my favorite thing on the whole menu and is something that I could eat every single day for the rest of my life. No joke. Normally when I have eaten pork belly it’s cut small and is served with a crispy top and fatty underneath. This was served more like pulled pork (in the little pot in back). In the foreground is the serving dish…I took the two metal pieces and made a bowl by assembling them in a criss cross (Yeah they make you do work here). In the middle from left to right clockwise we have Hawaiian lava salt (which literally turned my fingers black like soot), cucumber, fried garlic, mango with hot curry, lime, coconut, red onion, in the spoon was red bell pepper with cayenne, toasted cashews, edible flowers and herbs and on the bottom left corner was basil seeds in lime vinagrette.

It’s a taco! I tasted each of the garnishes first to see what I liked and then I put a little bit of each in the rice paper and folded it up and ate my pork belly wrapped in flowery rice paper. At some points I found myself gazing at the ceiling so as not to be distracted by anything while I was eating. I wanted to isolate my senses and just taste. Then I had an orgasm at the table.

KING CRAB (3 Ways): Alaskan King Crab mousse with rhubarb pudding, basil buds, chive, lilac sorbet and chervil gel.

Underneath the first part of the ceramic dish we have part two…Alaskan King Crab bites with lemon ginger vinagrette, red bell pepper, coriander, mung bean, scallion, rhubarb, avocado dust and fried almond.

Part three at the bottom of the dish was Alaskan King Crab with rhubarb, cippolini onions with a fennel and anise glaze.

OCTOPUS: I am not a huge fan of octopus and by “not a huge fan” I mean I really don’t like it at all. It was marinated in red wine, served with fava bean and chased in the bowl by fava bean soup with a lavender foam. It wasn’t bad

LAMB: tonight was their maiden voyage of this dish! The server told me the lamb was from Pennsylvania but I am looking at the menu right now and it says Elysian Fields Farm, so I am not sure what that means. On the left it was gently seared, in back it was a fried lamb puff (pure fat and pure delicious) and on the right it was a poached lamb loin. It was topped with dehydrated fried green onion tops.  The best part of this dish for me was the thick creamy soup that tasted exactly like popcorn!

HOT POTATO: My photo here does not do this justice because the waiter was stressing me out telling me how tempurature sensitive dish this was. I was hurrying and couldn’t hold still to shoot. It was a hot Yukon potato topped with black truffle on a very small metal pin. At the base of the pin was a butter parmesan cube. You gently hold the dish and pull the pin through the bottom of the dish dropping the potato into a cold black truffle potato soup and shoot it. Folks, this is something you must try before you die. (This is one of their signature dishes that never changes on their seasonally changing menu.)

From left to right: BACON, MALT, NUTELLA. First of all the bacon looks like a trapeze artist and if I wasn’t in such a hurry to get it into my mouth I would have played with that metal contraption all night long. It was wrapped in apple leather and also had butterscotch and thyme. The malt ice cream had Goose Island beer stout (different from their menu which says bourbon county stout… I am sooo glad I took diligent notes!) also with oats, english toffee bits and a blueberry tapioca foam. The Nutella thing on the right was basically a bite which tasted like a Nutella and banana sandwich. Not a huge fan of either thing, but it was still pretty tasty.

KUMQUAT: here we have an edible cocktail! It’s based on a New Orleans style drink called a sazerac made of rye whiskey, Peychaud’s (bitters), thyme and lemon zest. It was wrapped with a thicker gelatinous layer of kumquat. It literally was like biting into a whiskey jell-0 shot and it was delicious.

About this point is when I started losing Twitter followers. I was blowing it up tweeting detailed descriptions of each course. Some people were loving it, others not so much. I had to keep myself company somehow with no one to talk to between courses!

SURF CLAM: a sort of deconstructed clam chowder with the usual bits of bacon, celery, oyster cracker, thyme foam and the really unique thing was the self encapsulated balls of tobasco you see. It was decent, but not one of the better menu items.

GREEN ALMOND: green almond set in a rice gelee with yuzu, something that I obviously didn’t spell right because I can’t look it up, sea salt and soy sauce pudding.

I want to mention that it’s a strange day for me to have wine sitting at my table like this. I was very careful to not drink too much so I didn’t miss anything and as to not get full on liquids! On the far left is a white wine made of chardonnay, sauvignon blanc and pinot grigio. These grapes are fermented on the skin and then the wine is produced pretty much untreated. It was tasty but in a raw kind of way if that makes sense. Very good though.

SALAD: mini turnips and other garden sprigs dusted with a ranch dressing powder. To be eaten with your fingers to give you the sensation that the gritty dust is like digging in your garden. (A hot towel is provided)

Underneath the salad dish was a cold potato leek soup and I have to say this is definitely one of the top items on their menu for me. I don’t even like potatoes that much! (sorry Dad I know you are rolling over in your grave right now)

At this point a lovely couple sat down next to me and was curiously looking at my next dish. The waiter said I was to just eat it off the metal thing in my face. SARDINE: from the bottom up…fried country bread, confit yellow tomato, sardine, horseradish cream, red pepper flakes, arugula flower, fried caper mounted in fried country bread pudding. It was pretty spicy and a little fishy, but I mean come on, it’s a freaking sardine. I did end up with a couple of teeny tiny bones in my throat so that kind of bugged me.

Thank you to my new friends Lance and Tina who took this picture of me. We got to chit chatting and they are from Portland Maine and work at a place called Fore Street. They gave me a lot of suggestions for places to try in Maine, Boston and Chicago. She had surprised him for his 40th birthday and took him to Boston for a day and then to Chicago for a few days, of course everything hinging on a reservation at Alinea. That is the way to live people, planning ahead and making sure you get in. They were a lovely couple and made me feel not so alone

SQUAB: (2 ways) rare cubes (just like I like all of my meat) and pulled like bbq’d pulled pork. What is squab you ask? PIGEON for the heathens that don’t eat out or who don’t like to click my links. I have had it a bunch and I have to say this was delectable. It was served on a wooden platter as you can see with charred strawberries, crumbled hazelnuts, pickled ramps, watercress and the strange looking reddish sheets you see are carmelized strawberry jam that has been dehydrated and flattened. It was a crispy fruit roll-up for lack of a better description. (I love this blog because I can describe things so normal people can relate. I am sure Grant Achatz might have a different opinion of it though lol)

BLACK TRUFFLE: this is their other signature dish. I was told to eat it in one bite and to be sure that my mouth was completely closed when I bit into it. What happened was magical. The liquid inside burst out of the pasta shell and filled my mouth with black truffles and parmesan. It was to die for.

TOURNEDO: inspired by Auguste Escoffier‘s progressive French cooking they served Australian wagyu beef with Anaheim peppers and fried bananas. I was cooked perfectly, but I don’t really like fried bananas that much.

LEMON SODA: yes, it does appear to be a bag of cocaine, but it was in fact a thin baggie of lemon soda powder that dissolved in the back of my throat.

BUBBLE GUM: and no, this is not a crack pipe. It’s hibiscus gelee, vanilla creme fraiche, and bubble gum tapioca.

TRANSPARENCY: a glass like texture that broke like glass, but did not cut me. Made with raspberry, yogurt powder and rose pedals.

Thank you Lance for documenting this process. I was told to suck it down as fast and as hard as I could. Not a problem!

EARL GREY: the next one was probably the reason that my old boss said he didn’t want to eat air. The fluffy pillow was filled essence of Earl Grey tea and as the plate settled on the pillow the scent of Earl Grey surrounded me while I enjoyed the dish. I am not going to lie, it was a bit much. I choked a few times until it went away.

The dish itself was delicious but I was getting so damn full! Earl Grey shortbread with a carmelized white chocolate noodle (imagine those Chinese noodles you buy in the cardboard can but kind of moist and tastes like white chocolate…wow), lemon curd (the thing that looks like egg yolk) and fennel jam.

For the final course they took my wine glass collection away and left me with one. They placed a rubber tablecloth on the table. Uh oh this is getting kinky.

I was told a visitor would be coming to the table. They drag out this process for a good ten minutes making me anxious as to what the hell was going to be happening. I had not seen any other tables go through this process. Maybe I was the only one in the dining room to order the “Tour.” Maybe I was getting special treatment because I was alone. Or maybe because they know I have a hugely popular food blog. (Insert sarcasm font here)

CHOCOLATE: my table became the plate.

Look at me…wringing my hands with spoon ready.

The larger white thing was coconut mousse. The smaller white dabs were chewy coconut. The rest was liquid coconut. Add frozen dark chocolate and it began steaming like dry ice. The white bit in the tweezers is crystalized menthol.

Add a disc of warm chocolate pudding and…

…you have the most beautiful dessert ever created.

I was so stuffed that I could barely even do any damage.

And the LTP Award (Lick-The-Plate) goes to the dessert. Not because it tasted the best, but because I could actually lick the table. I’m a classy broad like that.

The menu goes like this… Bigger circles mean larger portions. Smaller circles mean smaller portions. The further to the right the sweeter. The further to the left the more savory. Wine pairings are listed below the dish.

If you have the money and the opportunity to try Alinea, do not miss it. I just went and looked at my new bucket list and I cannot believe that I didn’t have Alinea on there. Weird. It should have been.

SAVOR LIFE EVERYONE! Have a great day