Saturday 12.26.09

The day after Xmas arrived faster than two shakes of a lamb’s tail and we had to take Nikki to the airport. After we dropped her off I thought it was natural to head to Waffle House, the most ghetto of all Southern diners. I had never ever stepped foot inside of a WH. And I want to tell you, I was not afraid, and I do not regret it.

They ran out of grits as we ordered, but I was lucky enough to get them. Sue had the biscuits and gravy and I gotta tell ya…. it inspired me to start recruiting for the Top Chef: Biscuits and Gravy Challenge. Since we were in FL we jumped over to Dunkin Donuts and got a coffee… for some reason there are no DD in GA either. It’s weird how that franchise works….

We called the Humane Society and they said they were not accepting any more dogs at this time. (my heart stops beating, Sue promises to go get Badger on Monday when her vet is open)

No saturday would be complete without a trip to the local flea market. White German Sheperds!? sooo cute!

I found this totally weird monkey thing that only total weirdos would own at the flea market. Oh wait! I have the same thing in my house on my hutch.

I ended up buying this gem! I mean, who doesn’t need a bobble head angry tiger family ?

I tried to buy the jackalope and the snake/weasel thingys but the nice man said they weren’t for sale. He said they were for conversation only. Hhhmmmpphh.

And of course to make me sadder, we saw puppies in cages for sale. English Bulldogs….

And then we saw some very bizarre African American artwork. Don’t take this the wrong way… but I would be calling this bizarre if it involved any type of person, of any race.

Ummm this lady has a nice booty.

In the summer the flea market has an awesome outdoor patio where you can drink beers outside by the pond. Classy!

After the flea market we went back to the house and watched Jake attack Tucker and he fell from the 20 foot ledge. Aww shit… but ya know what? Cats always land on their feet.

Apparently after they have one of these encounters Tucker likes to eat a bunch of food (don’t we all turn to food in stress?) and then he vomits all over the house. Good times. I am glad we had a 6 pm dinner reservation. Nazzaro’s is supposedly some of the best Italian food in the area. I am not particularly fond of Italian food, so I was ready to be impressed. Stuffed mushrooms for starters:

Why did we order French Onion soup in an Italian joint? No idea. Looks like shit and tasted like a 5 on a scale of 1-10.

Sue and I both ordered the veal… IMHO they were both bland

but Glen’s was awesome.

Perhaps I am brainwashed into thinking that all Italian food must have marinara sauce? Please, someone take me out and show me the way. Enlighten me. When it came time for dessert the waitress said the creme brulee was the “best she had ever had.”

Alrighty then. We ordered the creme brulee and then flipped a coin for the cannoli vs. the tiramisu

Aaaaand…. The creme brulee was far inferior to any that I had ever eaten and I do, in fact, want to add cannoli’s to the list of foods that I will never try again. (Hey! Get in the corner with salt and vinegar potato chips, Oreos and cole slaw!). Really, I gave it a shot. Sorry guys.  The limoncello was fantastic. But at this point in the day anything with a remote bit of alcohol makes me smile.

We went next door to Ziggy’s

to check out the local band of “Out of Work Santa’s”. Seriously, these guys are so happy to NOT be wearing fuzzy red velvet suits! They were a Dead/Phish/Classic Rock cover band and I loved them! Touch of Grey Band check them out if you are in the area….

Totally unrelated to anything: this table reminded me of our old neighbor who worked for the phone company. He used to bring us spools like this that we made into furniture in the backyard. Small coffee tables were made out of the spools used to transport telephone cables. Cool shit! I would love one of  those in my loft now.

And here is Jake again. He really needs to let go of some of his hang-ups.

Monday 12.21.09- Tuesday 12.22.09- Wednesday 12.23.09

I had an awesome 13 hour nap last night and managed to completely ignore the mess in my loft. The plumber still hasn’t been there and the place is still as disgusting as when I passed out on Saturday night. It’s truly disgraceful. Monday turned into Tuesday and I had a meeting with an old friend who I am going to call 704. After the meeting we went to sushi, polished off 2 bottles of sake and then went to the Chee Chee for a shot of Jagermeister before heading to my loft to further examine the mess. Still no plumber, flies everywhere. Fantastic!  After 704 left I kept drinking, watched some porn and packed for my trip to Georgia the next morning.Oh and by the way, my assistant of 3 weeks quit in an email Monday night at 10pm. That’s professional! Just wanted to let you all know…. if you want to quit a job, do not be a chicken shit…. call me on the phone or do it in person. Email? Really? I knew she wasn’t going to last when she bailed out on the company Christmas party. I honestly think that she might have been a little squeamish about the nature of the job. Or she heard me scream “rimjob” one too many times in the hallway. NEXT!

I went to the office to clean up some last minute horseshit on Wednesday morning before catching my 11:00 am flight to Atlanta, then off to Brunswick GA. I was seated on the plane next to a kid from SDSU who appeared to be about 22 years old who was in fact close to 28. We played trivia against the rest of the plane and although I came in first place one time and got one of the highest scores of the flight, he still beat my ass over all. We were playing against a sweet little old woman who was much slower than us to the punch when it came to answering, but would just dominate us at certain times with the questions from the 30s and 40s.

We laughed and drank a bit and started flirting. I would like to say that the cougar in me started this, but it was in fact he who started the banter. He might be what you would call a “cougar hunter.” We ended up exchanging phone numbers but had I given the nod, we might have joined the mile high club. I dunno though, he had a serious baby face. I am not sure if I can go through with this.

I landed at 8:30 pm and was told by the fam that we were going to the local pub, Toucan’s Ale House,  to check out some karaoke and because my brother-in-law wanted to introduce my niece Nikki (yes, his daughter) to the bartender, BK. (Of course everyone in the south has 2 letters as their name.) He made Nikki walk in with a plate of homemade desserts to give to BK and I can assure you… this is the opposite of her style.

My brother-in-law is a regular there so they gave him a Christmas present… a stocking filled with homemade beef jerky and chocolates. Pretty awesome… if the owners of the bars that I am regulars at did this for me, I would spend even more money in their establishments throughout the year. (Ahem, Michael from Tivoli take note.)

After 5 torturous country music karaoke songs I was pleased to hear BK’s original music. He writes his own lyrics, and is an aspiring singer/songwriter. I suggested he move out of Brunswick asap but I am pretty sure he knows this already.

I do have video footage of him singing, but I am too stupid (and buzzed) to figure out how to video blog. Next week I will upload it.

I tried to order the fried green beans but the kitchen was closed. Other noteworthy menu items were the Bird Bath Nachos. Any fans of “Dick Tricks” out there!?? come on!!!

We had fun, drank too much as usual and headed home to raid the fridge of random leftovers. I fell fast asleep with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head until Tucker the fat cat jumped in bed with me and tried to make out with me. Then when I started baby talking Tucker, Jake the fuzzy Siberian Husky had to check out the situation and jump in the bed as well. Let me explain the fundamental problem with huskies and cats. They always, without fail, hate each other. And tonight, at 4:00 am, I was no stranger to this fact.  HISS GROWL MEOW BARK JUMP FLAIL. All at the edge of my bed. It was like an episode of “Tom and Jerry” but just a little bit different. The cat was now stuck in the room and the dog would not let him leave. The cat finally fell asleep in the bathroom sink and the dog nuzzled next to me. We all slept in harmony until approximately 11:15 am! WTF get outta bed lazy!