November 17, 2010

My very best friend in the whole wide world that I have known since I was 5 years old had her 38th birthday today. We grew up next door to each other in Connecticut and have stayed in touch over the years. She now lives outside of NYC with her husband and her 3 beautiful little girls. It’s funny…we rarely talk on the phone and rarely exchange emails but when we see each other once a year or whatever we pick up exactly where we left off. We are two peas in a pod with our wit and sarcasm and it’s like we never moved away from each other. Her Dad will probably walk me down the aisle if I can ever trick someone into marrying me. 

You know how I wished her a happy birthday? Facebook.

Happy National Unfriend Day! How many people did you unfriend?

Recently I started DVR’ing Jimmy Kimmel Live again (I have been a huge JK fan since Ben Stein’s Money in the late 90′s and the greatest show on television EVER: The Man Show.) I faithfully watched his late night talk show for many years but stopped recording and watching it about a year ago for whatever reason. Anyways, I am glad he’s back in my life. Lately he’s been on a rampage/mission to make people aware of how “friends” on Facebook are destroying the very concept of what friendship is.  

He has started a campaign called NUD (National Unfriend Day) to take place on November 17, 2010. Basically you go through your Facebook page and unfriend everyone who is not actually your “friend.” He states that even Oprah does not have 854 friends and there is no way that you do. Every night he highlights a ridiculous person on Facebook who posts about really stupid annoying shit. He even had Wolf Blitzer on last night doing a “Breaking News” segment with someone’s dumb updates. It’s so hilarious. Watch that video!! It really makes you think about who you allow to see things in your life. How many of us post photos of our families and personal events and then have a hundred people that are connected to us that we have met in passing at a party or who we may have never met in real life at all? My personal rule is that I don’t have you as a friend unless we have physically met in person. Even that might be stretching the concept of “friendship.”

I guess all of this and null and void for me since I blog every time I fart so it doesn’t really apply to me at all anyways. But YOU should participate in NUD.

I recently had what I thought was going to be a one night stand with a friend of a friend. We exchanged phone numbers and sent a text a day or two later but I had no intention of dating this guy nor did I think he ever wanted to see me again. (He’s got a rep of being a “playah” I found out later.) He called me at at 3:30 am this weekend and I laughed and chortled but didn’t answer. I told our mutual friend that he was a shit head for calling at that hour and blah blah blah. Anyways…I had taken some fun pix that night of the group of us that I had posted on my other racier blog (that I don’t link to here.) I sent the link over to my friend and he shared it with who I will now refer to as 858.

858 then called me a few hours later and this is how the conversation went:

858: “Hey I am sorry I called you so late the other night. That was rude of me. I was drunk.”

Me: “No worries. When I heard the phone ring it woke me up and I was like ‘Oh yeah no way I am answering the phone at this hour for that fucking guy’.”

(We laughed)

858: So (mutual friend) showed me those pictures from the other night and I would love some of them without the (____) logo for my Facebook page. Are we friends on there?”

Me: “Are we Facebook friends? I dunno. I don’t even know if we are really friends in real life.”

858: “Well you did see me naked.”

Me: “Yeah and I did give you a blow job so I guess that’s pretty friendly. Yeah I guess we are friends. I will send you a friend request and then I will upload the photos without the logo.”

Then we made idle chit chat about our day and other stuff. After about 10 minutes I could hear that he was at a restaurant and I told him I would let him go. He said he would call me later. I am sure he will authorize me on Facebook and we will become “friends” and we might even exchange comments on each other’s walls about the photographs. I might never see this guy again. And then, next year on November 17, 2011…I will unfriend him.