I flew out with Rich on Sunday evening to meet up with Chris and his business partner Cari for the semi-annual Magic Show…the huge fashion and shoe convention that takes up the entire Las Vegas Convention Center and the Mandalay Bay Convention Center. Rich and I were mostly just tagging along and had a day at the pool planned for Monday but I did have some other business to attend to, so it made sense. I had every intention of driving there so that I could visit family in Bullhead City AZ afterwards, and also so that I could get myself to yoga  but at the last minute on Sunday I decided that I really just couldn’t do it. I HATE HATE HATE long road trips. I even went so far as to get satellite radio installed in my car on Sunday am, but realized that I had a freebie ticket on SWA expiring in September, so I was golden! We arrived around 9pm and Payless car rental was… out of cars. So despite my reservation they had no car ready til the morning. So annoying. Anyways, this is the waiting area outside the car pick up area that we had to chill out in until we could catch a ride to Luxor. Classy. (Please note my “Shut Your Whore Mouth” tshirt in black.)

First thing in the AM they were still dicking around with the car and the driver and whatnot so I just took a cab to the rental car center so Rich and I could make it to 11am yoga on time! Rich lost a stupid bet on the plane and now had to take the class with me. haha! He did awesome and was kicking ass in several of the poses that I cannot for the life of me master. Little brat. The instructor was awesome and so energetic and really kept Rich enthused. It really makes a difference if the teacher has some positive energy and a bit of a sense of humor. (His name was John and it was the WestSide studio in Summerlin in case you care. Awesome instructor!) After yoga we got ready to head to the pool, but not before I noticed a Redi-Whip can on a room service cart outside of our neighbor’s room. Hehehe. You know what that means!? Whippets! Yes I put an item from someone else’s meal in my mouth. It was totally worth it. (I think it was not open, but I would have done it either way. But yeah, I am 99% sure it was a brand new unopened can.)

It was a breezy 105 degrees out today.

Hours later and many buckets of beer later the sun began to set and our afternoon was winding down.

We switched to cocktails

And began our ridiculous photoshoot underwater. These are shot under the water up into the sky. It looks like I have a mini little top hat on my head. hahaha

And now I look like I have the head of a midget.

We went back to the rooms to take naps before Chris came back from setting up the convention. We had a reservation at Bartolotta’s, but sadly, I was unable to nap and I was pretty buzzed at dinner. It sucks because I freaking love this place.

No idea what is so damn funny. Perhaps my hair! Oh yes, I am trying out for Lion King.

I will try to remember as much as possible about dinner. Pardon my barbaric descriptions of the food we ate. If you remember this is the place where the guy flies his fish in fresh from the Mediterranean every single day. Chris and I took his class last fall and he explained that he literally has the fisherman photograph the fish coming out of the water and sends a text with a photo asking if he would like it or not. Then Paul tracks the fish all the way across the world til it arrives in his establishment in time for dinner. Pretty amazing stuff.

Chris and I did the tasting menu … Rich doesn’t eat fish but was brave enough to try the octopus and loved it. I don’t even like octopus at all and it was out of this world. Moving from top left to right were tiny baby soft shelled crabs that I could have eaten all  night like popcorn. Really tasty…most people are not brave enough to eat soft shelled crab like that, but honestly…give it a shot. For me. Moving down and right, I have no idea what that was. Salad obviously, but I don’t recall. And on the bottom left I assume that is Dungeness crab…I don’t really remember, all I know is that I sliced my knuckle open trying to eat the damn thing.

Umm white fish. I guess?

Aha! Scallops…I remember those because I don’t usually like them and they were good. I believe those are mushrooms underneath.

Risotto with sausage. I think it was a bit bland. Boy, I hope Chris reads this and and chime in with some real comments and an actual review of the food. I suck.

I remember really liking this dish, too. Huge chunks of lobster and a yummy light red sauce with pasta.

But the LTP award went to the sauce that the octopus was served with. It was the same dish he made for us at the  event in Nov of 2009. A reason to visit his restaurant. I swear to you.

Tuscan snapper was our main course and they come to the table and filet it right there for you.

Rich had veal.

I had Rich’s leftovers.

And then we all got in a fight over dessert because Rich is like Christian where he orders for himself only. Chris and I are “sharers” and become infuriated with people do not share a bite or two of their dessert. It is, in my opinion, totally rude. My panna cotta was not as creamy as I like it, the chocolate thing on the right I don’t really remember what else was in it and Rich had the trio of sorbet and was being stingy and jerky about it…the clearish sorbet in the middle was amazing, but I didn’t get very much. Hey Rich, what flavor was it? Or were you too drunk to remember dinner also? Chris was less than thrilled with us, so we went back to the hotel and went to bed early. Dad was mad at us.

I had to go to the office and finishing cleaning out my crap before my 12 pm flight. I got frustrated with the amount of paperwork that I had let pile up for years so I just brought everything home and will weed through it later. Ugh. That’s a rainy day activity.

On to more important things! Vegas! The Romero’s had rooms booked at Encore (sister hotel to the Wynn) but evidently the hotel fucked things up in a huge way and weren’t honoring the bookings at the rate promised DESPITE the confirmation codes that had been given. After arguing for no less that an hour and speaking to several levels of management we were all given keys to the suites at the Wynn for the price promised. Sitting in the hotel lobby for close to 2 hours watching Robert fight with these A-holes is NOT the way to live. Andrea said to me “I have a very long fuse and I am getting pissed. Laura, I know you have a short fuse so I want you to know that I understand what you are going through right now.” (Is it that apparent that I have a short fuse?)

The Wynn really is a gorgeous hotel… Encore is just as nice. What Wynn has going for it is 3 amazing restaurants though. (Daniel Boulud, Alex and Bartolotta) What I love most about Vegas is that there are so many fantastic high end celebrity owned restaurants on the Strip.

For dinner we went to Cut. I know, I know, you are shocked that I ordered the bone marrow flan and kobe beef sashimi. And a black and blue American Wagyu steak. (Creature of habit when it comes to some things) Dinner was awesome as usual, too bad half of the people in our party were too drunk to appreciate it or even sit still during dinner. Oh well. More raw beef for me.

In honor of the Chinese Year of the Tiger the Palazzo has their lobby decorated.

This hotel is really spectacular. I think it might be my favorite on the Strip.

Robert, Jen and Lee-Ann. (Both of these lovely ladies work at the Tivoli so you should stop by there and tip them well)

Andrea also works there and this is her hot friend whose name is totally escaping me right now. I think it is Kyle. He works at The Shack in La Jolla. Let me remind you that I drink a lot and hanging out with bartenders is ROUGH. I pussed out and went to bed at 1:30 am! ME! In Vegas and asleep before 4am? Whaaaat?

I slept in on Tuesday, worked out, ate a little, and went to the Bellagio in hopes of seeing whatever their new Conservatory exhibit was to find the damn thing under construction. I always make a trip over here to see what they have going on but apparently I missed the Chinese New Year one by a few days.

I really didn’t even know what to do with myself today. This is probably the first time (ever?) that I have come to this town without any obligations other than dinner reservations both nights. I am usually coordinating meetings, conventions, and trying to make sure a half dozen co-workers are fed, bathed and where they are supposed to be. If I am not in Vegas for a porn convention I am here for a friend/family birthday and am usually blind drunk by 4 pm and don’t give a shit about anything. Here I was, sober, feeling energized from going to bed early and working out and I decided to hit the sauna and the steam bath. (You know how I feel about the spa… not a chance I am getting in that public heated cesspool) The sauna was great until my head almost exploded and then when I went to enter the steam bath it was really really steamy and I literally couldn’t see one inch past my nose so I freaked out and shut the door. I did this three times. I wasn’t really in the mood to accidentally sit on some old lady in there so that was the end of my day at the spa. I really need to relax.

Dinner was at Daniel Boulud’s and I was meeting Ava Devine! We have known each other for years, since the first time I shot her in 2003 or 2004. I was literally the camera operator/director on that shoot, so that tells you how long ago it was. There are a few people in the business that I truly consider friends and want to stay in touch with and she is one of them. AND she was on her best behavior tonight Well, compared to Puma Swede and Nikki Benz, she was on her best behavior and there was minimal squirming on my end.

Oh Michael you perv.

Seared foie gras (4 out of 5 stars… my friend Chris’s is actually better! I swear to you!)

Short ribs (the house specialty) (eh…. 2 out of 5 stars. They were tender, but the flavor was average.) Oh and why the fuck am I ordering RIBS at a French restaurant anyways? Someone slap me.

Apple tartin. (I can’t really rate this because I had one bite, passed it around the table, answered a text message and when I looked up the goddamn thing was gone. So much for no one else wanting dessert.)

We had an early dinner and the girls wanted to head up to the room to get cleaned up and so they could put their tiny dresses on that they will pull and tug on all night. Michael and I went to Bartolotta’s for a glass of wine. What a fucking idiot I am for not choosing this place for dinner. What was I thinking? Seriously. Slap me again. You might remember the cooking class I took last November taught by Paul himself. Here is his assortment of fish for today. I suck. Remember he flies his fish in from the Mediterranean every single day? Fail.

I have been going to “The Tiv” since probably 1994 and am definitely closest to Michael on the far right, but I love Robert and Roy just as much. Thanks for the invite this week even though you stuck me with the dinner bill at Boulud’s. HAHA! Don’t worry I will get it back now that I am unemployed and will be spending more time in your fine establishment here in the next few months. (jk…. well….not really)

You can’t tell that they are brothers or anything can you?

Michael and Andrea (my new BFF)

The trip was relaxing, mellow and just what I needed to kick start my new life. Now back to blogging and furthering my soul searching.

There was a 5 page print out on the table of all the things we were about to try and they immediately brought us a glass of wine. Chris accused me of inviting Andreas only because that was the only way I would get out of work early on a Friday in order to drink wine in the middle of the afternoon. Ha! Funny, but so not true. Sometimes Andreas and I have martinis during lunch, so there! (sticks tongue out) The course was designed to teach us about seafood, vegetables and olive oil and as I skimmed over the menu Paul (I am on a first name basis here simply because it is easier than typing Bartolotta each time) was explaining to us that he struggled (as I can imagine most chefs doing) with writing down a recipe on paper. I would assume that any decent chef would prepare his dishes from memory, experience and common sense. He started his class by explaining the three things that make a dish: time, temperature and a balance of ingredients. Makes sense, right? (just wait til I actually start cooking later on this year in my new place and I blow the kitchen up) His success is based on the fact that good ingredients make good food. He began to teach us that “unfussy is the new cool.”

Bartolotta has worked in 15 restaurants all over Italy (most were along the coast) and then worked in many restaurants in France. He learned his technique in France and learned all about the delicious rustic ingredients while in Italy. He suggests low energy cooking, less violent, and you will keep the food tasting more to it’s natural taste. At Bartolotta’s you will be served fish flown in from the Mediterranean each and every day. Paul spends his mornings texting, skyping and tracking his fish every 20 minutes to see exactly where they are. He says that if his fish arrives “looking not so sexy” he will have known that they took a jaunt to London by accident. All of his fish are line caught because if you catch them by trawling them they will drown and become waterlogged. Makes sense. His fisherman will literally email him photos from the Adriatic Sea and and ask “Do you want this fish?” Paul responds with “How much?” and the fisherman responds with “If you have to ask you cannot afford it.” And so the journey begins.

Our first taste was “Isalata di Piovra”: Octopus with fingerling potatoes in olive oil. First off, Andreas and I were convinced (and still are) that there is no place in San Diego that sells whole octopus. I hope someone proves me wrong and makes this for me one night at Top Chef: Loft Edition because even though I don’t even like octopus, I would have eaten 87 pounds of this dish. It was fucking incredible.

The second course was “Brodetto di Vongole e Porri”: Tiny Clams in a White Wine Broth with Leeks. This was also delicious and I found myself wanting to chuck the clam shells over my shoulder to get to the ones on the bottom faster.

Third course was “Trigilia All Ponentina” (I might be making the “a” a capital when it is not necessary): Red mullet with capers, ligurian taggiasche olives, tomato and roasted bell peppers. Red mullet is a fish that I have never tasted and it was a little fishy but still good. Would I order it again? Probably not.

Course 4 was “Ricciola con Radicchio e Salsa D’Acciughe”: grilled amberjack with wilted radicchio and anchovy sauce. Again, this is a fish that I have never tasted….. I think we have had it in sushi form, but the name escapes me now. Anyone? Beuller? Here the anchovy sauce can be made with a food processor but is traditionally made with a mortar and pestle.

At this point I would like to introduce the LTP Award. The “Lick-the-Plate” award of the afternoon. Holy shit the anchovy sauce was out of this world.

Course 5 was “Mazzancolle e Cannellini”: flavorless tiny prawn with undercooked beans. Ok, ok , that is not what the dish was called, but that is what it tasted like. I think the idea was right, but perhaps he wasn’t prepared and didn’t do what he was supposed to do with the beans. After all, this was an hour and a half class and beans take forever.

The Greek man sitting next to me (Andreas) asked Paul what his opinion was on Greek olive oil versus Italian olive oil. Paul chortled, the crowd went wild. It spawned a conversation about where the olives come from, what color they are and how very different they are. It’s an age old debate about the difference and which is better. The bottom line is they do taste different and until you know what the hell you are doing, choose the most expensive one. The more expensive it is, the less you have to use and the more flavor it will have. It is oil, after all, and the less you use, the better off your thighs will be. It reminded me of the time I was in Greece, drunk in a bar with locals and asked them if it was true if the Greeks like anal sex. The local replied “Anal? Oh that’s the Turks!”

It was a wonderful experience and it made me want to hop on a flight to Vegas to go eat at his restaurant the next day. I highly recommend it to anyone… did I learn something? Of course I did! Will I retain any of this by the time I get off my fat ass and start cooking for myself? Doubtful.

In closing, I want to share the one question that thankfully was uttered out of Andreas’s mouth ONLY for me to hear:
“Hey Paul, who would win in a fight… you or Mario Battali?”

If you are really interested in the recipes email me and I will get them to you. howilearnedtolive@gmail.com

also check out Slow Food