Friday May 14, 2010

I walked over to Joe and Vanessa’s apartment complex to lay by the pool for a little while (I have a key to their place) and there was this weirdo filming a couple macking on each other frollicking and whatnot. I was sitting there shoving my lunch in my mouth and the dude got me in one of his shots. I said “Umm, do you mind me asking what you are filming this for because I really don’t want to be in it. I don’t want to be in your little porno.” He was like “Oh no, don’t worry it’s a music video and I won’t use that shot if you don’t want to be in it.” yeaaaaahhhh righhhht buddy. A music video with that shitty little camera? ok. Trust me I know you are making porn because I used to do shit just like this all the time. I was just careful not to get random people in the shots.

I really do have too much time on my hands because this is what came of my day over there. I kidnapped Vanessa’s dog Kali and left a ransom note. I almost peed myself while I was doing this. I really do need to get back to work at some point.

She didn’t mind the blindfold so much.

But she definitely was not very happy about the gag. Alright PETA freaks, she was not harmed in any way! She still loves me

I went to Tivoli to take some shots of the bar for their new website. I need to be there right before a Padre’s game because the place is packed but then dragging a ladder out into the middle of the bar when it is full is a little awkward. Anyways I had a few glasses of wine and was waiting for Jason and Jarin to come down and was feeling really lightheaded and too drunk for my own good. I hadn’t eaten and the food at the Tivoli is soooo bad for you. It’s a Montreal theme which means poutine (french fries covered in gravy and cheese curd), hamburgers, hotdogs, etc… really bad for you crap. I was just telling the owners that they needed to add some salads to their menu and while they were at it put a big sign up by the menu with a cardiac specialist’s phone number. (On a side note, I have the # of a good Dr and am going in soon.) I know my sisters are reading this and are shaking their heads but I can tell you I have not eaten bacon since my brother’s heart attack and I swear to you on our dead parents that I have been eating healthy and working out! That being said… I ordered the hot dog with Canadian bacon on it and the poutine. I didn’t eat all of, I had help. I promise I just needed something in my stomach.

We walked over to the Local to meet Dusty and Larry, a guy who used to work for Naughty America who I haven’t seen since he left. (So we had 5 ex-employees at the bar. lol) It was nice to see Larry again! He came to my SNL party as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

I  love Bev and her boobs. She came to the 80′s party as Jessica Rabbit. One of these days I will post those pics and the video. That is the biggest slacker move I have ever pulled. Fuck… that party was in September!

I love that I am double fisting in this photo. I am going to assume that I am holding the drink of whoever is taking the photo.

I was home in bed by 11:30 pm. I really need to stay off Twitter when I have been drinking though.

Monday 10.26.09

When I woke up in NYC on Sunday my left wrist was hurting a little and I just figured it was because of the shitty rainy cold weather… sometimes, you know…when you get a little arthritic pain. OK, maybe I am just getting old. The pain progressed and got much much worse as today went by. I was on the train coming back to SD and I swear to god I could feel my heartbeat in my fingertips. Completely painful, completely unexplainable. I didn’t fall down. I didn’t trip and catch my fall. I didn’t have crazy sex. I wasn’t tied up by my wrists. So what the fuck is the problem!? I couldn’t type, and using my blackberry was almost out of the question. I tried to self diagnose it and put one of those sweet wrist guards that look like the pro-bowlers use but it wasn’t really helping.

Grey Goose became my best friend. We stopped into Tivoli Bar downtown to say hi to our friend Michael who is one of the owners. (I met Kim many years ago when she was a bartender there.) He was hanging out with this nutty guy named Tom who I just adore. Tom works as little as humanly possible and travels all over the world. He is in his early 50′s and is full of life. I have only met him three times, but every time it’s a great conversation and I truly enjoy his company. He has so much positive energy!

We ate some of Tivoli’s new Canadian menu (that sounds so ridiculous). Poutine is a pretty classic French Canadian dish which consists of french fries, gravy and cheese curds. Sounds gross? Try it! I know it looks like a bug, but you really don’t understand til you put it in your mouth.

Michael trying to look cool.

Tom went home and the three of us went to J Bar, which has been getting some really good reviews lately. Unwarranted, I might add. I ordered pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon (overcooked), wild mushroom orriecchette pasta (overpowering mushroom taste), lobster and crab cake with a poached egg on top (what is the purpose of that?? it was average) and duck confit (not the best I have had.)

I went home and crashed out after a long weekend. I only woke up screaming from the pain 3 times in the middle of the night.
No bueno