Friday May 14, 2010

I walked over to Joe and Vanessa’s apartment complex to lay by the pool for a little while (I have a key to their place) and there was this weirdo filming a couple macking on each other frollicking and whatnot. I was sitting there shoving my lunch in my mouth and the dude got me in one of his shots. I said “Umm, do you mind me asking what you are filming this for because I really don’t want to be in it. I don’t want to be in your little porno.” He was like “Oh no, don’t worry it’s a music video and I won’t use that shot if you don’t want to be in it.” yeaaaaahhhh righhhht buddy. A music video with that shitty little camera? ok. Trust me I know you are making porn because I used to do shit just like this all the time. I was just careful not to get random people in the shots.

I really do have too much time on my hands because this is what came of my day over there. I kidnapped Vanessa’s dog Kali and left a ransom note. I almost peed myself while I was doing this. I really do need to get back to work at some point.

She didn’t mind the blindfold so much.

But she definitely was not very happy about the gag. Alright PETA freaks, she was not harmed in any way! She still loves me

I went to Tivoli to take some shots of the bar for their new website. I need to be there right before a Padre’s game because the place is packed but then dragging a ladder out into the middle of the bar when it is full is a little awkward. Anyways I had a few glasses of wine and was waiting for Jason and Jarin to come down and was feeling really lightheaded and too drunk for my own good. I hadn’t eaten and the food at the Tivoli is soooo bad for you. It’s a Montreal theme which means poutine (french fries covered in gravy and cheese curd), hamburgers, hotdogs, etc… really bad for you crap. I was just telling the owners that they needed to add some salads to their menu and while they were at it put a big sign up by the menu with a cardiac specialist’s phone number. (On a side note, I have the # of a good Dr and am going in soon.) I know my sisters are reading this and are shaking their heads but I can tell you I have not eaten bacon since my brother’s heart attack and I swear to you on our dead parents that I have been eating healthy and working out! That being said… I ordered the hot dog with Canadian bacon on it and the poutine. I didn’t eat all of, I had help. I promise I just needed something in my stomach.

We walked over to the Local to meet Dusty and Larry, a guy who used to work for Naughty America who I haven’t seen since he left. (So we had 5 ex-employees at the bar. lol) It was nice to see Larry again! He came to my SNL party as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

I  love Bev and her boobs. She came to the 80′s party as Jessica Rabbit. One of these days I will post those pics and the video. That is the biggest slacker move I have ever pulled. Fuck… that party was in September!

I love that I am double fisting in this photo. I am going to assume that I am holding the drink of whoever is taking the photo.

I was home in bed by 11:30 pm. I really need to stay off Twitter when I have been drinking though.

Monday 2.09.10

Tonight was the Cybersocket awards held at club called Eleven in West Hollywood. Before heading to the awards we went to dinner at Sushi Roku.

We started with the tuna carpaccio

And then gorged ourselves on this feast! Bottom right 4 pieces is kobe beef sushi (I didn’t care for it #1 because I am spoiled by Cut and #2 they seared it with those blow torch thingys which make everything taste like propane. Eww.) The toro (top right 6 pieces, fatty tuna belly) was un-fucking-believable. Melted in your mouth! If you are a fan of tuna, you must try toro one day. Spring for it, splurge, spend a few dollars. You won’t be disappointed.

Before we went to the awards we stopped at a little bar across the street for a warm up cocktail. I can’t remember the name of the place but doesn’t Justin Martindale in this picture remind you of The Shining?

DJ, Angel Benton and Tommy Defendi (I cannot take Angel’s contact lenses!) But how hilarious is it that he wore a wolf t-shirt to the awards show!? HAHA! love it! Side note, I love Angel for so many reasons. One that he showed up to my SNL Party as Ms Swan from Mad Tv (check that video around 10:30, he does a perfect Ms. Swan)  And because of his Britney Spears impersonation. They actually made a movie starring him and I have my very own signed copy.

Congrats to Wolf Hudson … Love that guy!

And I have to admit, I have not seen one of this guy’s movies. Ooops. Might wanna check into that.

I would love to know what is going on here.

Ryan Raz double fisting as usual. Man of my own heart.

And here I am with more stars from the show that I know nothing about. Marcellus Reynolds from Big Brother. What a sweetheart

And I leave you with Justin Martindale re-enacting a scene from his favorite Disney movie, the Lion King.

Friday 10.30.09- Sunday 11.01.09 (sorry I have been slacking!)

Typically, Halloween is a really big deal for me and if I can’t come up with something super duper awesome or funny, I just skip it. In the last 8 months I have hosted two very successful costume parties. 2/07/09 was the SNL Party and 9/06/09 was the 80′s Movie Character Party. One day when I have nothing to talk about I will blog in detail about my maniacal attention to detail when hosting costume parties….

Soooo……this Halloween crept up and I wanted to be The REAL Balloon Boy with a bunch of inside-out helium balloons or an insulation blanket attached to my head and have a string and a small doll dangling off my contraption, but I simply didn’t have the energy or time to put it together. Sue me. I had every intention of putting it together in the beginning of the week, but as Thursday rolled into Friday, I adopted the “Halloween is for Rookies” attitude. I had plans to stay home most of the weekend anyways and start going through the crap in my house so I can prepare for my move in January. I am selling my house and downsizing for several reasons. I am never home, my dog died, and the douchebag behind me decided to build Trump Towers West in my backyard. On Friday night I stayed late at work and went over to The Local for “one drink”. They were in the midst of a white trash party

(I had one of those years ago, too… we were grilling grilled cheese sandwiches lol) and somehow (on my empty stomach) I got so drunk in 3 hours that my wonderful friends had to help me find a cab so I could make it home safely. Scary that I don’t really remember half the night. I do recall these photos:

Carlos from The Hangover (a very popular costume this year was Allan and Carlos… the best one I saw was my friend Jeff in NJ who had a real baby for his Carlos!) (I saw this movie 3 times in the theater!)

Critical Mass: those annoying bikers that take over the streets of downtown San Diego one Friday a month. I asked Tommy 5tone what the deal was and he said, “Oh they just do it for fun.” I started taking a bunch of photos and video because I was going to blog and talk a bunch of shit about how stupid they are and I hope they get hit by a car and blah blah. But then I asked a woman standing on the sidewalk cheering them on what this was for and she said it was a statement against auto pollution. So I searched deep into my shallow little soul and realized that a Prius-driving-garbage-picking-recycling-crazy-person like myself shouldn’t be mad at them, I should embrace their cause and be proud of them! I considered join ing them one Friday a month, except that I don’t really know how to ride a bike. In traffic. I mean I know how to ride a bike, it’s just that I learned how to ride a bike on a ½ mile long driveway with no traffic. The last time I was on a bike in public was in 1993 with Stephanie and Chantelle in Mission Beach and I ended up crashing over the sea wall. So, critical massers: Have at it! I will no longer hiss at you on Friday nights when I am stuck in a taxi trying to get downtown.

Saturday night turned into a naked hottub party (Obviously there are no photos from that, duh, I don’t have a waterproof camera) which turned into 3am playing the “I’m On a Boat” video 17 times on my big-screen. We did manage to have a brief and simple Top Chefesque competition where Michelle and Michelle battled it out in a watermelon carving contest.

Needless to say when I called everyone to brunch on Sunday I was a total hurting trainwreck. I lasted 5 minutes at Universal and walked home deserting Tommy and Jen. I promptly turned my phone and brain off and fell asleep for the next 3 hours. When I woke up I had to rally and get my ass in gear to meet up with the Naughty President candidates who had flown into town. We met up at the Se Hotel and had a couple of foo-foo drinks and then Lauren, Dallas and I took them to dinner at Yard House. I had the bacon, chicken, truffle mac-n-cheese, which pulled me out of my 5pm hangover quite nicely, along with a bottle of Cakebread chardonnay.Don’t worry, I shared the wine. After dinner we walked around the corner and were denied entrance at the Star Bar because I still don’t have a fucking drivers license after letting it expire on my birthday in June. The Star Bar, which is arguably the nastiest dive bar in all of the Gaslamp, doesn’t accept passports. That’s right, they do not accept an international identification. So we went to Gaslamp Tavern where it was too loud and then decided to go back to the Se for a nightcap. I was falling asleep while dodging questions about the upcoming debate tomorrow and I finally had to call it a night. I took a cab home to discover that all of the exits near my house were blocked off and a mere $34 dollars later I was home. I should mention that I dozed off in the cab when we finally did get near my house and was a little embarrassed to tell the cabbie that he had to turn around because we had gone too far due to my narcolepsy. Long weekend folks.