Friday September 10, 2010

I was undecided whether to stay in LA for the night or to just head back to SD and enjoy my weekend at home. A few phone calls to my LA gays and that was decided pretty quickly. I made plans with Justin Martindale for lunch and then we had plans to meet up with George Jaramillo. I got a cute room at Le Parc in West Hollywood…the basic suite (unless they upgraded me and didn’t tell me) was a huge room with a mini kitchen, a living room, dining area and a quaint balcony. It was probably bigger than most NYC studio apartments. I tried my favorite place (to hate) The Hollywood Standard but they were sold out and The London was close to $400. Ha. Funemployed Laura was tempted but logic took over.

So let’s get to Fashion’s Night Out and how we drank for free all night! Basically FNO was a 16 country event (I don’t even know how many cities in the US participated…a lot! And I don’t really know how many shops in LA… I think George said 300 shops were involved) to stimulate the economy in over priced boutiques that I can’t even afford to stand in. (Picture Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) Most of the places we stumbled around to in LA had dresses in the $500 range and it was all I could do to not spill my drink on them and then have to high tail it out of there.

First we had to stop and get a bite to eat so we went to a place called Chaya for some really yummy Kobe Beef Bolognaise with white truffle oil. It was quite amazing but it would have better with a dash more truffle oil for sure. I didn’t think to take the photo til after we dug into it, so I apologize for it looking like a pile of puke.

Our first stop was at Intermix to see Ryan (aka Ongina…from the Ru Paul Drag Race Show!)

George was our sober driver for the night so Justin and I didn’t hold back at all. We were not shopping, just cashing in on the free bars at each place. We were pretending that Justin was Lars Voldemort the legendary German Supermodel. (yes, it’s made up) He does a great German accent and I make a great bitchy agent.

That’s right. Stand there not making eye contact with anyone and act like you are too hot to speak to anyone.

And the winner of the Best Dressed Award goes to this little Asian lady. What up with those shoes?? She’s trying to figure out how to text someone. lol.

This poor woman was outside cooking hotdogs on the grill in her gown to lure people to her shop.

Look at this creepy statue that I need for my eclecticly decorated loft.

If I was a child I might be afraid of this Twister artwork. We went to the Andrew Christian underwear store in hopes of seeing their models playing Twister, but when we arrived they weren’t actually doing it so we didn’t stay very long. Not to mention they were serving FRANZIA BOX WINE. What self respecting gay would do that!? Gawd!

Converse Crocs? Gross.

Justin has residency at The Comedy Store so we headed over there and snuck into a private benefit party and mooched booze off of them. LOOK! He’s a legit comedian! Too bad my camera is on it’s last leg and every 5th shot is blurry.

I mean… he is for real a Comedy Store regular! Congrats! Pretty impressive being on the walls with all of the great legends of comedy.

I got a little stand-up-star-struck when I saw his friend “Fortune Feimster.” We caught the tail end of her act and then went and said hi to her. Please click on her page and watch her doing a character called Darlene Witherspoon. HILARIOUS! If you have some time look at these other ones: Dawn Calicio, Katina, and a Rachel Zoe parody. I love her.

George went home and Justin and I stayed out so we could go check out the screening of his Logo.tv special at a bar called East/West. Check out Justin Martindale being awesomely funny! I have asked a lot of you today, but please watch this one for sure I beg you.

I love hanging out with Justin because we just laugh the whole time. I want to bottle him up and carry him around all the time.

Friday April 30, 2010

I heard this song on the radio the other day and I love it! Bonus that they are Australian! Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap.

I really don’t know how it took me this long to appreciate Chelsea Handler’s humor. I swear to God, I feel like I have been missing out for so long. I discovered her because I realized there was a book titled “Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea?” and I thought wow, that could and should be titled with my name instead of hers. I mean how awesome is it that she is sponsored by Belvedere!? She has just started her new tour of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang and I got tickets last minute to see her. Justin Martindale was supposed to go but got called into work at The Comedy Store last minute so I ended up going with 818, Nikki Benz and Keiran Lee. (Puma Swede was in school til late so I guess Nikki is allowed to borrow her BF if she ever needs a date.)  

We went to dinner first at a hole in the wall sushi bar called Chiba. A few people had been talking about how awesome it was so we decided to try it out. A very unassuming little place in North Hollywood, a place you would drive by and never go in because of the appearance and the neighborhood. Well, you know what they say about not judging a book by it’s cover. The rolls were small (but it’s better that way because you don’t look like an asshole trying to shove a huge piece of sushi in your mouth and having it fall all over the place) and the nigiri was excellent. They had toro which is always a good sign, and it was delicious and melted in your mouth like it is supposed to. Nikki had never had it before, and you know I always love introducing people to new yummy things. We had some sake and beers and enjoyed some good laughs. I wasn’t going to post this picture, but hey if you can’t make fun of yourself, then what fun is life? Keiran has an application for his iPhone where it turns you into an old person. He tweeted it to a couple thousand followers and was trying desperately to get Nikki to retweet it to her 31,000 followers! Whatever, here it is. What. The. Fuck. That is so frightening.

After dinner we went over to the show at the Gibson Ampitheater in Universal Citywalk. They have a one drink per person rule…but then offer a BOTTLE of wine. Well duh. Like I would order a small plastic airplane size cup of wine when I have the option to order the entire bottle. They dump the wine out into a pilsner glass. This is awesome!

Hey guys, when you try to deep throat a hot churro, it hurts. Just letting you know that.

The show was amazing… I was crying laughing, almost peed myself and my face hurt from smiling so big. I won’t ruin it for you in case you have the chance to see her. She is really really fucking funny. A woman in her mid 30s who drinks like a fish, has a potty mouth, loves to talk about ridiculous things, adores midgets and hates kids. We are pretty much the same person except I don’t have a show on E.

Nikki and Keiran went home and 818 and I decided to head over to Howl At the Moon, a dueling piano bar inside of Citywalk. It was packed with annoying people so we left after a little bit. Look at their dress code:

I have never in my life seen #5 on a dress code list. What if I had murdered someone and am now out of jail and I have the little tear drop thing under my eye? Rude.