Wednesday 1.06.10
I just want to say that I think my family members should stop reading this blog. I just want to put that out there.
In 2008 my best friend convinced me to sign up for “It’s Just Lunch” so that I could attempt to meet people outside of my industry. I had been dating people in porn for years and it was time to meet a nice guy who worked a normal job. I went on 21 blind dates over the course of the 12 months. It carried over into 2009 briefly before the service ran out. Most of the dates were total train-wrecks and I swear it was like they were pulling my name out of a hat each time. Now they are blowing my shit up trying to get me to come back… for some reason they seem to have magically found a bunch of guys for me that are just perfect. Really? That’s weird, because ya struck out every single time before!! I went out with a guy who talked about himself the whole time and literally did not ask me one thing about myself, a guy who was not even divorced yet, a guy who had cerebral palsy and the best one: a guy who was in AA. On all of these dates I was very upfront and honest about what I do for work and it was either a deal breaker for them or became the focus of conversation for the next 30 minutes.
I had a brief “relationship” in the spring which was the only semblance of a “b-word” that has occurred in the last 3 years since I broke it off with Tony. It was casual and fun at first, but became complicated and before it got too messy, it ended. Right after that I connected with someone from my past who I thought I was absolutely meant to be with. On paper we would be the perfect couple. We saw each other several times over the summer (long distance) and I can’t put my finger on it, but there was a disconnect between us. The sex was amazing, but in retrospect I think that was pretty much the extent of it. We lead totally different lives and operate at very different paces. The last time I spoke to him he informed me that he was not having casual sex at the moment, which I assumed meant he was in a relationship. That is not the case…. I think I might have actually drove a man to celibacy. Wow.
Throughout the year I continued to check off things on my sexual “to-do” list. I learned a new trick in the bedroom, had sex with a black man (actually 2, but not at the same time, let’s not get crazy here), had sex with a sports celebrity (no, not Tiger) and tried anal sex a few times. This year I would like to be tied up, have someone jizz on my glasses, have sex in public (on a subway would be ideal) and maybe even make a sex tape.
While I sometimes think about Sunday nights and how great it would be to snuggle on the couch and eat popcorn with a boyfriend, I am not sure if that’s for me right now. Of course if the right person comes along, things could change, but right now the thought of dealing with boyfriend issues and the horseshit that goes along with explaining yourself all the time makes me want to vomit. Several of my past relationships failed because I have always put my career before “us”. (hey I have a question… am I doing this too often?) The reality is I have made my own success in life and I am not going to rely on a man to take care of my ass later in life, so yeah, my career is #1. I don’t have a dog to worry about any longer and I have a sense of freedom that I haven’t felt in a long long time. Don’t get me wrong, I would like to get married one day but I simply don’t have the biological clock ticking, nor is there even a battery in said clock. I would have to say that traveling is the biggest issue. It would be awesome to just pick up and go away for the weekend with someone that I cared about, had great sex with and who could take the time off at will. Someone with no strings attached who isn’t looking to make babies and lock down. I wish I had a romantic someone that I could take with me and enjoy the new places that I explore. For example when I go to Australia in March, it would be fantastic to have someone to share it with me. A romantic walk on the beach in the reclusive Whitsunday Islands isn’t going to be the same with my brother and his wife. My goal for 2010 is to go on a bunch more blind dates and write a book or screenplay. I think it might sell. Do I hope that the dates are stupid and messy? I confess… yes. That way they are more interesting for the writing 
I had a fun year, despite the fact that I didn’t get to go on a big international vacation. I got to see my family a little bit since I was back east several times. I was in Boston, NYC, CT, Las Vegas, Fire Island, Ft. Lauderdale and Georgia on business and pleasure trips this year. I found myself missing the East Coast a few times (of course only during the warm months) and even considered if I could ever live there again. I am missing my sisters, brother and nephews/nieces a lot. But then I wake up in San Diego one morning and its 70 degrees in November and I smack myself in the face for thinking about living anywhere else.
I threw a party in February where everyone had to dress up as a Saturday Night Live character. I have since changed the name of the site to Pop Culture Parties because I am not stopping now! No costume, no admittance. I rented out the Tivoli Bar for the night on 2/7/2009 and decorated the place with giant posters of Tina Fey, Lorne Michaels, and had all kinds of other stuff hanging around from the show. A custom menu featuring things like cheesborger/cheesborgers and of course music playing only by bands that have played on the show. Costume prizes in several categories including most accurate, oldest, newest and someone even managed to stump me and come as someone I had never heard of. Also there was a special appearance by Miss Swan from MadTV. Check out the video… it’s pretty fucking funny. I went as Ed Grimley and to ensure total accuracy I got contact lenses and dyed my hair jet black. I take my costume parties very seriously. I want to thank Ernesto for going all out as Mr Peepers. Super duper creepy how awesome and accurate he was. Nice work!
I also take my “Top Chef” cooking parties very seriously. Every few weeks several of my close friends come to my house to compete against each other in various challenges. My favorite one of 2009 was the one where I had ripped all of the labels off canned goods and they were forced to make something edible out of the cans they picked. It was pretty gross actually. My birthday weekend “Top Chef” challenge was to prepare my last supper. My friends totally impressed me. I gorged myself on bacon, foie gras, filet mignon, lobster, chocolate and literally ended up in the ER the next day with heart palpitations. The nurse was less than sympathetic and told me that I had “party heart”. I was like look, bitch, if I didn’t have party heart from the 762 hits of ecstasy I did in my 20’s then I certainly don’t have it now. A bunch of water cured me, so yeah, she was right, I was dehydrated. I haven’t had any problems since then but it’s better to be safe than sorry. That same week in June I had a hernia operation which kind of halted my consistent workouts. I had been doing really well losing weight and then around June just kinda gave up. I have been very lucky in that I have managed to keep the 20 pounds I lost in 2008 off. Despite the excessive drinking and eating that I do… it’s actually baffling to me how that works. That’s another goal for this year, lose that last 15 pounds, but fuck it’s just such a pain in the ass to walk 6 blocks to the gym at 6 am when it’s dark and cold. brrrr.
In September I hosted another successful costume party: The 80’s Movie Character Night! (I have yet to post the video and pics from that, I know I suck) Again, taking this to another level is the only way to do it. I bought a flux capacitor and also rented a Delorean for the night and went as Doc Brown from Back to the Future. I rented out The Local on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend and had an 80’s DJ spinning, the bar was decorated with movie posters, and I had movies playing on all the TVs. It was a blast and some of the costumes were just fantastic! Costume prizes were awarded for various things (all of which are made up by me during the night and are sometimes very silly) and most everyone takes it as seriously as me. I have to admit though, I am a total bitch if you don’t play by the rules. I was hissing at the girl who showed as Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. Her date said “Oh I though the Evite said 80’s and 90’s!” No, it didn’t jackass.
Some of the highlights of the year include: moving downtown and living the loft life, discovering my new favorite boy band The McLovins, the resurrection of our gay porn company, and the success of Naughty America and the Holly Sampson video putting us on the map. 2010 is going to be an incredible year for me because I am going to continue to find ways to put my creativity to good use. I am not sure how exactly at this moment, but thank you for reading and following me. I will kick up the antics a notch this year.
Happy New Year to all 20 of you who actually read this. Be safe. Succeed.
