Friday September 2, and Saturday September 3, 2010

I am so sorry…things have been moving fast. I got a job, I got fired. I met someone. I got married and then got divorced. Ok not really…but as I told you…Laurapalooza is over and it’s time to focus my energy on other things like drinking in gay bars and BBQs! It’s Tommy 5tone’s birthday weekend so I met him at Urban Mo’s for a quick drink before heading to Sigrid and Tyson’s for a end of summer BBQ with our friend Todd who looooves to make fun of me for tweeting.

I haven’t seen Kim in forever….

And it was fun watching her chase Alice around the yard for hours lol

On Saturday I got my hair did at Felicity salon in Cardiff by my good friend Junior…she did the Brazilian Blowout for me (a kind that does not require me to stink like a homeless person without showering for 3 days.) It was quick and painless (only an hour and a half) and Junior is awesome! After I got back to downtown I met up with a bunch of people on a daytime nightclub crawl sponsored by the Local and let me tell you how not fun it is joining a 200 person party three quarters of the way through. People were waaaaasted. But doesn’t my hair look nice!? It’s so healthy and shiny and silky now.

I ran into an ex-pat of NA (ha that’s funny) named Tess…it was great to see her! We’ve been friends for a long time before she worked there and she has 3 of the most beautiful kids… I have been shooting pictures of them for years.

HAHA nice try Eric!

When I was a little girl I used to call my boobs penguins. I have no clue why, but it’s a big family joke now. When I went to Antarctica my sisters made me a shirt that said “I Froze My Penguins Off in Antarctica in 2004.” Pretty funny.

I met up with them at Side Bar and then we went to a new place called Analog for the final stop on the crawl. I would love to know what the hell Rich is looking at in the foreground.

I saw this on someone’s table and I literally walked up and asked if I could have a bite! LOL Parmesan covered brussel sprouts served in a popcorn container. AMAZING.

We ended up back at my loft where I was ecstatic to show Jason’s new gf Esther my photos of Antartica and Australia for about 3 hours driving everyone else crazy. Hey, once I get a new victim who wants to hear all about my trips I don’t shut up. sorrybouteht

As the night progessed I somehow was buzzed enough to allow my friends to play a quarters drinking game called “Chandeliers” on my wooden table. I was less than stoked to see the dozens of tiny little knicks on my table the next morning. IDIOT!

Friday July 16, 2010

A bunch of my favorite gays were in town for Pride so I headed up to Mo’s for some happy hour delights before Tommy/Suite 703′s event tonight at Rich’s. I tried for a little while to lure Rich to meet us but Chris was mad at me for flaking last night and he said that Rich misbehaves when he is around me (not true) and gay porn stars (kinda true). He keeps threatening to demolish me the next time I have an actual boyfriend and is plotting to TRY lure him out when I want quiet cuddle time. Hey, sorry if I am so damn fun.

Tommy 5tone and Phillip Ashton who deems himself a “pocket gay”…who I would gladly keep in my pocket at all times.

Jayden Grey and Howard (Papa Bear)

Phillip, Ryan Raz, Jayden, and of course the love of my life (during gay events), Trevor Knight.

oooooh my favorite Hillcrest bartender….Wesley!

Tommy, seriously, you are going to eat french fries for dinner? No wonder you weigh 2.7 pounds.

I received a backhanded compliment from 818 on this cute shot via Twitter. He will say it wasn’t backhanded but his words were ”Whoa there’s a girl in that photo” and then “You don’t look like a tranny.” Well there ya have it folks. My pre-sex change operation medication is evidently not working after all. It’s his immature passive way of being sweet to me. So retarded. I haven’t seen him in a long time but we are being civil and chatting once in a while. Whatevs. He definitely owes me a dinner, though. Perhaps one day when we are in the same city for more than a minute and a half he will take me out. Although I do expect to eat dinner in the front seat of his car. I mean like Taco Bell, not road head you sickos. I’m actually only writing this to see if he reads my blog. lol

I had to nap (again…sorry I was up at 5:30am for yoga! I get tired!) so when I showed up super late to the club I got attitude from Tommy until I reminded him that I was in fact there. My shoes made up for my tardiness. And I ran and got him a fresh drink.

Tommy and his hags! Jenkki Jen, Miss Vanessa and Jenncalistyle.

Since we were in the VIP area over the dance floor there was a nice big window where Vanessa and I could show our butts to everyone below! Hahaha! I was a little concerned at first about being photographed  but realized none of those boys down below would even pay attention to us. Now that I look closer, she didn’t even have her ass showing. Mine was fully pressed against the glass. Oh gawd.

Plus it was so fucking hot in there there was no way they would be able to see through the steamy sweaty fog. It was so gross. We were soaked. I used Tommy’s gift bags as wings to cool myself off as I danced.

#thingswethinkarewickedfunnywhenwe’vebeendrinking

Joe picked Vanessa and I up and dropped me off at my place. I tongue kissed her dog Kali. It’s the least I can do after the kidnapping incident.

Saturday May 1, 2010

818′s cat Belle was tolerating me this morning, but not really loving it.

I had to be back in San Diego to take some pictures of the crowds at Tivoli and then Mike and I dragged Tom to the game. If you look closely you can see a band-aid on his head. He told me that he was running stairs trying to stay in shape and ate shit and really fucked up his face. I told him that we needed a better story than that so we decided to tell people that he tripped over a midget while running. The Padres don’t really ever fill Petco Park and it’s sad because it’s such a cool venue. You can literally buy a $5 ticket and run around and bar hop inside the park.

Tommy was part of a wig pub crawl in Hillcrest so I took a cab up there to check it out. I felt totally out of place without a wig (you know how seriously I take costume/theme parties) so he gave me his little pink and blue extension thingys.

Heat Meiser with David Bowie/Lita Ford

Everyone was wigging out and switching wigs.

Lex, Jamie and Jennki Jen. (At Gossip Grill…you know what? That place is filled with grumpy lesbians! I was getting the stink-eye from a bunch of them. Sheesh relax I wasn’t checking out your fucking girlfriend.)

Well… there he goes again with the faces. It’s been a while. On our way to Mo’s.

I love this one! Nice pubes.

I am sure I was trying to be artsy, but kind of got lost in translation. It’s probably a good idea that I went home right after that.

Lastly, this is interesting… when I clicked on the link above for Mo’s I read/heard about this: 7-11 is sponsoring a road trip this summer! I would kill to do something like this…. if you ever hear of anything fun and ridiculous to do, email me at once! I got nothing but time and adventurous spirit!

Sunday 1.24.10

After a solid 12 hours of sleep the text messages starting coming in for brunch requests. UGH. Was I really about to get up and go drink again? Yup. We started at the Se where the boys had checked in AND out a total of 3 times over the course of the weekend! So funny! The regular bartender was a no show so we had this other guy who was utterly incompetent and was not even remotely remorseful about the problem at hand. He couldn’t find anything, kept saying that he only worked the  pool bar upstairs, and was either high, half asleep or just plain dumb. I ordered a drink called “Grace” which has champagne, Cointreau and is served with blueberries and raspberries. He literally could not figure out what to do. This is our conversation:

Me: I would like a “Grace”

Guy: I don’t know what is in that.

Me: Well let’s take a look at the drink menu, it will be listed.

Guy: (blank stare)

Me: (I point to the menus) There are menus right there behind the bar.

Guy: (look of confusion)

Me: (I stand up and grab the menu) Yeah, here we go… cointreau, champagne and berries.

Guy: I don’t think I can do this.

Me: Do you even work here?

Guy: (snide look with indignant snicker) Yes I work here. I just normally work upstairs at the pool bar.

Me: Well you have a full bar here so I am sure you have the Cointreau and the champagne, I can live without the berries.

Guy: I don’t think it will taste right without the berries.

Me: Well let’s try it with the 2 ingredients.

Then he proceeds to help everyone else around me and totally ignores me and DJ who wanted the same thing. Finally after literally 10 minutes of watching this tool stumble over his own feet we ended up with this “beverage” that looked like dirty dish water and tasted about the same. This is not the way to live, people.

We moved over Brian’s American Eatery and ordered a bunch of hearty breakfast food… I had the monte cristo and also picked at Jonathan’s chicken and waffles and Trevor’s corned beef hash which wasn’t corned beef hash at all… it was corned beef on a muffin. Lame. (Side note, I cannot wait to eat at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles next week when I go to LA!) We ran into the Naughty President and invited him to join us for brunch. He might have been a little overwhelmed by the crowd lol. We hung out with him while he ate and then dragged him to the Tivoli Bar. Of course I had to get cupcakes from Heavenly Cupcakes. Who, incidentally, have curbside pick up now! Call in and order and they will run them out to your car.

Hey Tommy, thanks again for making a douchey face in yet another photo.

And when the gays were completely over hanging out in a straight bar (that takes about 2 and a half minutes btw) we took cabs up to Hillcrest to do it. All. Over. Again. At this point I uninvited Mr. President and told him it might be best if he not join us. I don’t want to totally scare the shit out of him the day before he starts his presidency at Naughty America.

Hey I have an idea! Let’s go to Urban Mo’s! Look at Jenn feigning enthusiasm. And the ever so sexy Tommy Defendi.

DJ

The cranky mid-wife.

I heart Jonathan!

We love Jamie, too. She’s like smart and stuff. She’s gonna be a doctor. Trevor Knight in the middle.

By 8 pm we were back at my place listening to music and hanging out. Wresting matches, broken beds and Jagermeister shots! Your average Sunday  at Laura’s.

Saturday 1.23.10

Tommy and his peeps from LA wanted to eat at On The Border for some god awful reason so we got the troops together and headed to Mission Valley. By the time we were halfway through brunch and had managed to offend everyone in the patio area sitting near us, the gay porn stars had decided to stay another night and were going to run around Hillcrest in Suite703 attire and continue promoting the relaunch. As you can imagine, this turned into utter chaos and debauchery. I will spare you most of the photos… I have the photos of the boys making out  stashed on my computer for my private collection

We hit Fiesta Cantina and met some nice lesbians.

You know I love reflection pictures.

Here we are looking pretty put-together. It was early still.

LA Jenn

Jonathan doing an amazing job at getting us new customers.

Urban Mo’s

There was an episode of Top Chef last season where they had to deconstruct classic dishes… this is deconstructed onion rings. lol (I would link to the episode but I STILL haven’t finished watching last season on dvr and I am afraid to go to their website.)

We then trekked over to Baja Betty’s and I saw the tiniest pair of UGG boots. I think they are so ugly… unless they are this size. Then they are ok.

The boys were sick of Mexican food so we  decided to eat some grub at Ono Sushi. I have eaten there no less than 100 times and know everyone  so I immediately walked in and apologized in advance to the manager Mark for what was about to happen. He bought us a vat of cold sake and we ordered a shitload of delicious sushi. I love that place and the best rolls there are the Triple Fantasy and the Munchi Roll. Dee-LISH!

I ducked out super early and gave Tommy money to entertain the boys for the rest of the night … We need to hire a babysitter.

Friday 1.15.10

Well today was the big day that Tommy and I had been furiously working towards. There were many people involved but he and I had been spearheading this project for close to 6 months now. We have been trying to stay afloat with our own duties all the while creating this thing we are both so passionate about. Thank you to the others involved (only a few who actually read this blog, thank you Taylor!)… we are really going to kick some ass now.

We decided to head out for happy hour in the gayborhood (shocker) so we met Chris and Rich and Jennki Jen at Baja Betty’s. We had a small snack and headed over to Urban Mo’s for a little while before Tommy and I almost fell over from exhaustion. (But not before I smooched and mooched a free drink from my new favorite bartender and bff Wes.) I think Vegas finally caught up to both of us. An early night but here are a few cute pics for you:

There is this awesome shuttle thingy that takes customers between the bars on University.

Chris and I ended up taking a taxi because the kid in the front seat was apparently on a “date” with the driver! lol CLASSY.

Saturday 1.2.10 and Sunday 1.3.10

On Saturday night we celebrated Alicia’s 39^th birthday at Taka Sushi downtown. Taka has some of the best raw fish in San Diego and it is Alicia’s favorite place to eat it. We indulged in the lobster dynamite

and a giant platter of delicious yumminess

worthy of mention is the second roll from the top/left called the Special Battera roll which is to die for despite the fact that they use that imitation crab stuff. I also love the uni here…sea urchin… I can always count on it to be perfect and never scary. I have a new love affair with sea urchin after Chris had me try it here one night a few years ago. (I do not, however, have the same love affair with ankimo, the other shit he made me try)

After dinner and a bunch of sake and beer we trekked over to Tivoli (wow, I really am a creature of habit) where we ran into the most interesting man in the world.

Here are 4 old friends who used to work in the stupid photo lab at Long’s Drugs many moons ago and our little eskimo friend Sandee on the right.

We went to East Village Tavern to do some bowling…. Is she not the cutest thing ever in her socks and bowling shoes?

I personally hate bowling because one time when I was about 10 years old I got a 2. That’s right. TWO. I opted to sit on the bench and chat with Jarin and Jason, my other downtown rat friends. A good time was had by all.

On Sunday morning, Carly Parker took the train down to visit and we went to brunch at Baja Betty’s in Hillcrest. Tommy met up with us and later we went to Red Pearl Kitchen downtown where Carly ordered dessert in the middle of dinner and then refused to share with any of us. Rude.

RPK has a bunch of Asian style tapas and we pigged out…. I had to get the fried rice with bacon in it.

We ordered wine (half price on Sundays! bonus!) and then took cabs up to Hillcrest so we could gay it up some more in preparation for our project. At that point Carly was a wee bit too drunk to be out in pulic so I took her home and put her to bed.

Oh, but I didn’t stay with her, it was early… I took a cab back to Urban Mo’s and continued the evening Here I am about to inject a giant syringe of nasty Jell-O shot. puke.

Friday 1.1.10

The morning began with me at Ralph’s trying to take the shopping cart outside of the store and being told by a really hot guy that they wheels lock up when they hit the sidewalk. Oh I bet I looked cool ramming my gut into the handle. The cab driver picked me up and of course my guests were arriving for the biscuits and gravy challenge on time. Ugh. Tommy was here to redeem himself from the debacle of the dessert party challenge. He had claimed that his biscuits and gravy were better than Chris’s. Long story short, they were but everyone except me was too afraid to vote for Chris over Tommy. I can say this freely because Chris does not read my blog. So F him.

Tommy’s (saltier and yummier but he cheated and his Mom made the biscuits)

Chris’s (you would think he would have won because he served it with bacon, but the salt was missing from the gravy)

We ate a bunch, drank more champagne and wine, suffered through no dishwasher at my new place (NOT the way to live!) and watched a few episodes of Top Chef Las Vegas. (yes I know, the season has been over for quite some time. I am a very busy woman)

We then headed to Hillcrest again for another evening of recruiting for our project. Jessica the bartender from the Chee-Chee was at Baja Betty’s, random as hell. It appears as though I am stalking her now.

Rich and Tommy looking cute

Me and my mo’s

Wes the hot bodied barternder from Urban Mo’s.

We ended up at Fiesta Cantina, of course and naturally I licked someone. huh? ok time for bed missy.

Chris and Rich adopted me for the night and I passed out on their couch at 8 pm. They woke me up for snacks at 9pm and then again at 10pm. I love my friends who worry about my malnourishment.

Don’t you love how all of the links in the last week have been the same fucking places. Ugh, those people must be sick of me.

Tuesday 12.29.09 – Wednesday 12.30.09

I had dinner at Taka Sushi with 714 who is moving to 619 in a few weeks. I have known this guy for many years and hadn’t seen him in a while so it was nice to catch up with him and of course with dinner came lots of sake and turned into a pub crawl. Star Bar, Bareback and what night wouldn’t be complete without a stop at the Chee-Chee. I know the bartender Jessica at the Chee-Chee and every time I go in there now she introduces me to one of my new neighbors. Jessica used to work for Naughty America and I ran into her a few months ago in North Park and she is now my neighborhood bartender. It’s quite a co-ink-ee-dink. I went into work late on Wednesday and I am so ticked off that I missed the 5.9 earthquake! Sandee brought me a plate of leftover pork from her Christmas dinner. I can never get enough pig in my life.

After work I met Jarin and Dusty at the Star Bar (yes, again). I always laugh when I go in there and see the bottles with Sharpie prices on them. Notice how cheap they are!

In other news…. I am beyond excited about the resurrection of our gay porn site Suite 703 in a few weeks. We have been working furiously on getting it back up and running and we are so close to the relaunch. I absolutely love love love watching gay porn, and I get all tingly down there when I see two hot guys making out and going at it. There is a project within this project which is FORCING me to hang out in Hillcrest and bar hop and try to find the right person for the job we are creating. I can’t get into details just yet, but it’s going to be awesome and Tommy and I have been spending an enormous amount of time together working on it. I can’t believe I get paid to do this job sometimes.

On Wednesday evening we hit Fiesta Cantina, Urban Mo’s and Bourbon Street. We have a lot of leads of potential people but nothing concrete yet. The only thing that is concrete is the feeling of getting hit in the head with concrete when I woke up after drinking on a school night. UGH. 2 nights in a row and now New Year’s Eve/Day is coming up. oh boy.